astrids pov
It's been about.. two months. I only know this because I can hear. I've spent the last two months listening to my mom and Jonah try to figure out how they missed this. I've trued with everything in me to wake up. I want too, oddly enough. I want to wake up, and hug Jonah. I want him to never let me go. I reply his words that he told me on day seven. I replay them like a broken record.
'Good morning Squish. Today, I am drinking my usual black coffee. I'd give anything for you to make fun of me for it like you usually do. I wanna hear you laugh as you call me boring, and a loser. I wanna do something stupid and hear you call me a dumbass. I want to compliment the fuck out of you, make you blush even though you hate it, it's adorable. I want to hold you, with my intentions of never letting go. I want to hear you say 'I hate you' as you throw you're head back, letting out that angelic, happy laugh. I know you don't mean it, I know you love me. I read your note. It took me seven days. But I finally read it this morning, while I waited for my coffee. It broke me. How could you keep the things you're dad did from me? I could or your mom could've gotten you help!" He pauses and calms himself. "I could have kicked Trevors ass, and... found someone to beat Meranda's. I am so upset! So fucking upset with you. The doctor said to tell you positive things only but you need the truth. You hate fake stuff. I am so pissed. at myself , and at you. Me, because.. Astrid how did I not notice that the girl I care about more than anyone was hurting this badly? I should have know. I should have help. And you. You were just going to fucking leave? Leave me with so many unanswered questions. A broken heart! I feel the same way Astrid. I am so beyond in love with you. Tate and I broke up. I couldn't date her while being in love with you. In love is an understatement. I have a need only you can fill. I need you. I want you. Forever. I came here ti surprise you, and confess my feelings. I'm glad I got there when I did. Or else you'd be much worse than just in a coma. I'd have to live life without you." He stops again, "This is pointless. I will just finish when you wake up. I just- I love you Astrid Rose Jones. I am in love with you. Every part of you. Please.. wake up squishy."
He poured his heart out to me that day. I wanted to hug him and cry... maybe even kiss him. But I was unable to do anything but listen. Today though, that all changes. I will wake up no matter what. I feel Jonah's hand in mine, and he coughs, I can only imagine his state. He's hardly slept, has practically moved into my hospital room, and literally ubers food here. He refuses to leave me. He showers here too. I feel bad. I know it's weird me knowing this, but I listen to everything he's told me.
"Good morning squish." He says tiredly. "It's day 91. I miss you, I need you. Please wake up. Squeeze my hand if you can hear me." He pauses and chuckles. "You're probably about damn tired of hearing me say that."
I wasnt.
I loved hearing him say it, it encouraged me. I was using all my power too squeeze his hand.
"You're mom went home last night to sleep, shower, and get more clothes. So if you wake up, she won't be here. But I will." He tells me.
I try harder.
"I am so in love with you." He whispers, "I need you to wake up."
Even harder.
"Squish, you look so beautiful even like this."
I put all my strength into it.
"Please wake up. I need to kiss your face."
And then...
"SQUISH!" He shouts, "Y-YOU.. YOU S-SQUEEZED! You're awake."
I feel my eyes slowly open, and Jonah stood there. He was teary eyed, and smiley. He looked terrible though. His face pale, dark circles under his eyes, his hair a mess. He looks like he even lost weight. I don't like that. I feel so bad. I stay quiet unable to put into words how I felt, I was to weak to move anymore.
