Chapter 1

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Jake texted me every night for a year or so and i couldn't resist not texting back. I knew sooner or later we should be seen or heard about. We finally gave into our desires, and that was a bad choice. We went to a game on a Friday night, and then to his house. We started to watch a movie about a lost boy in the woods, it was OK. Well during the movie, we started to cuddle more that we have before. I was so lost in love, i didn't want to do it, but then again it was feeling pretty great. He was sitting on the couch with one leg up on the back of the couch, and the other dangling a little. I layed between them, with my head on his stomach. Then he put his legs around me, he put his hands under my arms and pulled me up to him. As i turn to face him, he starts to peck my neck with little sweet kisses. He starts to slide his hands down from my face to my lower back, then to my thies, right below my butt. When hes doing that, my body shivers in fear that i will disappoint him. He starts to sit up and ask me if i am sure that i want this. Then i realize, I only want this to be different. I respond to him by bending to touch my nose to his, and slowly kiss him and grind. As i raise up i say, "I'm not going to do what everyone wants me to, I'm going to be my own person now." At that he sits up all the way and pushes me to the side. He says, " I thought we could be together till the end or time, but i don't see that we can now that you want to have sex before marriage?" I look confused at first, but then i speak into his ear, " i always want to be with you its just..." he cuts me off and says, " i want to be with you too, but you doing what was done to you the first time isn't going to help what we are about to go through." Then silence feels the air, he knows how sorry i felt when I had sex for the first time, because he was there, a part of what happened to me that night. A person that was; drunk, shot up, drugged, beat as a kid, single dad, his dad. I remember the time the door swung open by his dad, in a rage for pleasure. John threw Jake off the couch into the wall, knocking him unconscious for a little bit. John, Jake's dad, picked me up and carried me to his room. He slammed the door behind us, and began stripping me. First he slid his hand down my face, to my breast, to my crotch. He unbuttoned my pants, and jerked them off like he was tearing at meat. That threw me off balance so i fell back onto the bed. He started to unbuckle his belt and slide his pants off, then his underwear. It was gross. He ran his hands up and down me like you would rub lotion on your arms or legs. I tried to kick him off of me but that just made him even more mad, so he tied my feet to the bed. He said, "don't try anything with your hands, or i'll mess you up big time." So i didn't. As he was running his hands down my stomach, he reached the top of my panties. He put his face on my stomach and lowered it till he had my panties in his mouth. He tugged and jerked at them pulling them down. I was terrified of what might happen next, iv'e been biting my lip and crying since he started. He pulled at my shirt with both hands on each side of the buttoned blouse. He pulled opposite directions with each hand, and the buttons flew across the room. I was feeling like i should use my hands to start to choke him, so i did. And he ripped away from my grip and slapped me. He said, " i thought i told you not to try and do anything with your hands, you bitch!" At that i felt like i was a bitch, because there was someone telling me what to do like a dog. He put his face on mine, and started to kiss me hard on the mouth. He would slide down to my neck, then my colour bone. As he got closer to my breast, he sat up and grabbed his dick. He said, " this might hurt if you haven't had sex yet, so don't scream too loud." I started to cry even harder, and i held my hands to my face. I could feel the round object penetrate my vagina, it slowly started to ease in as if he was trying not to hurt me. The object felt rather large and fury, i felt sick at this point. "It's almost there," he says without a doubt, " its almost there." I start to feel a pushing sensation on my insides, and it hurts like hell. I scream in pain into my hands. He says, " there, there, it will be OK." He starts to run his hands up and down my naked body, i get chill bumps everywhere. As his "thing" is still in me, he lays on my stomach and breast, pushing up and back down multiple times. I feel a "hump" vibration coming from him, it makes me feel like i am in heaven, so i shudder "hmm," and "oh." I can't help it now, the orgasm is coming. I feel him grinding on me faster and faster. Harder and harder. It feels as if he is a hand motioning someone to come really fast. Jake walks in, finally, and says, "What the fuck are you doing dad, get the hell off of her!" "I almost got her to orgasm, hold on!' John replied. Jake runs to him and pushes John off of me. He tells me to grab the clothes i can and run, so i do. I run out into the living room where the movie was still going. I stopped, started to cry, and ran into Jake's room upstairs. While I'm in his room, I hear fighting, yelling, and banging down the hall. I couldn't take it anymore. Once I finished putting my clothes on, I crept up on the room the guys were in and Jake saw me. When I saw what John had done to him, I was terrified to even be in the same house as him, It sent chills through my body again. But these were nothing like what I felt a little bit ago, they were from fear of losing my boyfriend to "the guy who raped me" kind of chills. It was crazy, I wanted to just run in there and pound Johns face in, but I couldn't. I am weak compared to him, otherwise I wouldn't have gotten what was done to me done to me.

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