jean armin

chapter 2 -hurt

From a far away distance the small blonde could see jean and eren on their 3rd date, which only meant one thing afterwards, sex. He was totally destroyed he never felt this sad before, nor he never felt so in love with a person who would go ahead and brake his soul and heart like that, but jean never knew how he felt about him so he guesses it wasnt his fault, it was armins fault for not telling him sooner. Later that night he decided jean need more of a badboy like eren not a girly boy like armin, he slammed his fist on the bar counter and shot up leaving the money on the counter as he walked out and left still deciding whether or not to transform, but it was too late by the time he knew it he was wearing a leather bikers jacket, bikers boots and white tank top that has 'revel' in big bold letters sprawled across his shirt. His hair was dip dyed into black and green, but really it was just coloured hair spray. He checked himself out in the mirror and shoved some fingerless gloves on he bit his lip and turned away walking out of his apartment, jean was at home and eren was walking to his hotel, clutching his trousers and shoving the button in its hole. He was a mess and so was jean, but to his surprise he was gonna get a huge shock. Armin now knocke on the door and with no wait he walked in finding jean in his boxers, armin blushed and looked away hurting inside to the state he was in. "ARMIN WHAT THE HECK!!! WHY ARE YOU DRESSED AS A... WERIDO?!?!?!" jean exclaimed as he cupped armins chin to get a better look at the eye liner under his eyes, armin growled and pushed him off. "WEIRDO?!?! FUCKIGN WEIRDO!?!?! REALLY JEAN!?!? A FUCKING WEIRDO!?!!? I FUCKING CHANGED FOR YOU?!?!" armin felt his heart sink and tears threaten his eyes. "why me!?! whats so special about me?!" the taller one questioned slightly angry and confused. "CAUSE I FUCKIGN LOVE YOU GODDAMNIT!!!! I DID THE FIRST FUCKING TIME I WAS YOU!! BUTTT NOOOOOO LITTLE GIRLY BLONDIE IS TOO GILRY FOR YOU!!! SO I CHANGED MY APPERANCE CAUSE EREN IS A BADBOY SO TADFUCKINGAH!!" jeans eyes widened as he stepped forward towards armin, but armin only walked backwards the further jean became to him the more he would only back off. By now armins was in a huge amount of tears, he just didnt know why jean didnt understand. "WHY HIM!! WHY EREN?!?! ARENT I GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!?!? ARENT I TOO MUCH OF A FUCK UP FOR YOU?!?! ARENT I BAD IN SCHOOL!?! AM I TOO MUCH OF A FUCKING NERD FOR YOU!?!?! yeah thats why i thought.. im not good enough" armins walking backwards came to an end to a hit of a wall on his back, jean was so close tht armin felt as if he was being suffocated he put his hands on jeans warm bare chest. "armin dont cry.. please... i love eren cause hes different, i dont love you well casue your too good for me.... eren is my boyfriend, your just my friend, we cant be together, it would only brake our friendship." the words hurt armin more he looked down and his lip quivvered more, he was truely hurt and for what? cause his long time crush said some words. Yeah thats why, words hurt more than they should, but what jean said it stung his heart as if a bee has stung him a thousand times before dying. The smaller broke free from the wall of jean around him, he walked to his door and walked out. "rain? *sigh* perfevt for what im feeling"

So there he was walking alone in the dark nothing but deep hiccups and sniffling to company him. He was truely hurt, and he couldnt bare it he needed something to take the pain out something that jean nor anyone else would care about. Death.

Armin got some drenched to head to toe, he stripped off as he walked to his bathroom deep breathing exchanged the muffeled whispers of why or help, he turned the cold tap on and walked in the kitchen as he waited for the bath to fill up with freezing cold water. Opening his kitchen draw full of knife forks also spoons, he stares at a sharp kitchen knife. Taking it between his finger tips he trails slowly back in the white bathroom, everything in there was white apart from his mirror cabinet which was black other breahing become within form the boy. He looked at himself in the mirror wiping the eyeliner and other dark makeup he had on, he just stared at his pale girlish face before punching the mirror. The refelcting glass shattered at the punch he threw hissing as soon as he saw the blood pour from his knucles, all he could admit that it felt good to take his pain out on himself than anyone else. Armin has an idea and found a pair od scissors and brought it to his hair. SNNNIP.. SNIIIP... SNIIIIIP... whe  he was done he looked like an actual boy, too bad no one is gonna see him like this but the funeral services. He took the knife and stretched his wrist so the blue viens were now showing, he took another deep breath and dragged the knife along it hissing yet again as the blood dripped down onto the white surface of the sink, some landed on the floor and some along the side of the bath as he climed in his body heat dropped dramatically to a shivering bone chilling freezing, he let his wrist sink in the cold clear depths amoung the water, he watched as it turned red right away he laid his head back and his eyes rolled out of consiousness.

The last thing he heard or saw was the water spilling over the top. "i love you jean, go-...........good night" and with that his eyes were closed, his body as still as startled deer.

"THERE HE HIS, YOU GET HIM AND TAKE HIM OUT ON THE STRETCHER AND I'LL CALL HIS LOVED ONES AND TELL THEM ABOUT THE UNSETTLING NEWS!!" one of the paramedics shouted as two lifted the limp doby out of the bath tub wrapping blankets and other warm sources around his naked body, and with that he was strapped in a stretcher his cut wrapped in bandages tight so no more blood would spill. The loud sirens companied the city as every car moved out of the way of the speeding vehical.