Without You [#JaaneDeMujhe]

Without You

With all these curtains in my room, I try to stop the sunlight the way I stop your memories occupying my mind. But I fail when the sunrise and the light beam inside my room. It lands in the same place where you use to sit and do the work. The same table with a laptop and the scattered papers. The dust on it had become golden since you left. The shirt you like is still hanging in the closet waiting for you to come and make it smell like you.

Today it rained and it bought back your fragrance. As the drops fell on the walls, they started to shout out your name. They echoed in my ears as a sweet-bitter melody of our love. While stacking up the books from the study, I found your diary. A paper slipped down along with your photo. The one I took a day before you left. The last raindrop came in with the wind and fell on my face smoothing my cheeks. Along with them, tears rolled down. With the tumbling hands, I opened the paper, took a deep breath when I heard your voice and felt your presence beside me as I started to read on...

"I might be gone soon but promise me you won't cry.
I tried to hold on but my home up there is calling me,
A heave beyond the clouds.
With you, I felt peace and happiness
But nothing lasts forever.
I can say we will meet beyond this life but I'm sorry
I don't want to hurt you again.
With this note, I want to end it all.
I want to lay peacefully in the coffin until this pain will be gone.
Till I can't feel my heartbeats.
My lungs ache when I breathe,
It's a war in my chest.
Hope with this I can rest in peace with no pain and sufferings.
Forget me like the dust covering the surface.
Forget me like the morning dew on the leaves.
Forget me like the silent ocean with no waves.
Forget me like the scented rose with thorns
Forget me like the dark sky with no stars.
Forget me if you can.
Forget me and let me go.
Move on..."

Holding the paper tight I tried suppressing my feelings. But how can I stop your memories from occupying my mind? You said "move on" but how can I do that? With every breath I take, I remember you. I want to get free. I want to shout but you are not here to help me. You said "let me go" but how can I? When I too am striving to let go of you and your memories. But this heart... it denies to let go. It denies to move on. It denies living without you. All it does is make me wish to be with you one day... till then I plead you to help me let go of your memories.

- - - - - - - -
My entry
AmbassadorsIN