Living without a clear understanding of how to express emotions is incredibly challenging. People often misinterpret my lack of emotional display as disinterest or apathy. Allow me to shed some light on my emotional experience. My feelings are a tangled mess; I find myself crying when I'm angry and exploding with rage when I'm sad. In moments of sorrow, I feel hollow and unable to express any emotion outwardly. Even at somber occasions like funerals, I struggle to shed a tear. Confrontation is particularly distressing, as I either stumble over my words or dissolve into tears, rendering me unable to communicate effectively.
The weight of not being able to recall moments of genuine happiness is crushing. Whenever happiness does seep through, it's often accompanied by intoxication or dancing, serving as fleeting distractions from the underlying emptiness. Navigating the complexities of dating exacerbates these feelings, as I constantly question whether my words and actions are enough to elicit genuine affection. It's a constant battle against self-doubt and insecurity, with Google serving as a futile guide in deciphering the intricacies of romance.
Despite these emotional hurdles, I find solace in my relationship with my partner. Questions about what he sees in me and how he manages to navigate my emotional barriers plague my thoughts. I grapple with the notion of not being emotionally available for anyone, not even myself. Yet, amidst the turmoil, he stands as a steadfast presence, bringing a sense of clarity and purpose to my life. Despite my emotional struggles, my love for him remains unwavering.
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INSIDE MY HEAD
PoetryTitle: "Inside My Head: A Journey Through Anxiety" Synopsis: In "Inside My Head: A Journey Through Anxiety," the author bravely shares their personal struggle with anxiety and the profound impact it has had on their life. Through the written word, t...
