Silver / clay

⊱ 10 ⊰

Caleb twisted his body and pulled three tops and a pair of jeans from the cupboard, leaving it bare. The door, resting at forty five degrees, was blocked from opening further by the worn bed frame.

"You're an idiot," said Kamil.

Caleb ignored him, flinging his own measly possessions onto the messy bed.

"Why the fuck would you do it?" said Kamil.

There wasn't enough room for the two of them to comfortably fit in the room. There wasn't enough room for one. It wasn't a large cupboard, but, just like the bed, it came free with the room. Caleb thought back to how many others had slipped beneath those covers, and arrived at a particularly small number. One of those was Josh, but all Caleb could remember was the large hangover and the fact they still had their clothes on when they woke up. The other, Jessica, brought back positive memories, or at least good vibes -- for some reason the particulars weren't so clear. He'd always considered it a long-term relationship but it couldn't have been that long since they broke up just before exams. She'd since moved on with her life and he wondered where she ended up, both personally and professionally.

It struck him, now, that what he was doing was monumental by his own standards.

He bumped up to an obstacle.

"I mean, if you want to be a fuckhead, then go right ahead," said Kamil, refusing to yield.

Caleb hopped over the bed to gather his phone, then back again. The cupboard door slowly squeaked each time he drifted by, the air closing it slightly.

"You have to find another room mate before going," said Kamil.

"It's a rolling lease," said Caleb, squeezing out the room. He gave it one last look.

"All the good ones have got a place already," said Kamil. "How are we gonna find another one now?"

"That's up to you," said Caleb.

He found his way to the lounge and slipped a coat on. This would be the last time he got changed here, finalising a ritual that lasted his entire adult life. He remembered being a little nervous when he'd first arrived, coming to a new house in a new city, but the overarching mood was closer to cautious optimism. He wasn't exactly sure what the world would give him, but he was excited to find out.

It all seemed so long ago.

Globules of sadness dripped from the stained ceiling of the past. Would young Caleb have pictured the twenty six year-old version as a CPA, directing multinational companies on their business strategies, tired from the constant flights to Singapore, Kuala Lumpur, Shanghai? Probably not, but he would have envisaged more effort than his current predicament betrayed.

You know the answer, Amala had said, when he asked if he was giving her enough. She was right, the answer was obvious, and was why he stood at the precipice with a few scraps of clothing hoisted over his shoulder, a phone in his pocket, and a small bag of toiletries shoved inside the coat.

A warm wind swept through the opened door.

Although he was parsimonious by nature, the roof over his head represented a large outlier, and may as well have been sucking money straight from her purse. Just thinking of her purse lead to images of her undecorated handbag, to her practical yet elegant clothes, her wide smile, her emerald eyes, her presence in his life. His soul lifted into the embodiment of joy, at how his selfless act would please her greater, not for his own ends, but merely for sake of it. There was no question in his mind this was the right choice.

He strapped his watch onto--

Kamil snatched at it. "That was already here before you came. You have to leave it."

Caleb remembered opening the long-distance graduation gift, ripping away the colourful wrapping, covered in cartoon animals, as if he was still that young.

"OK," said Caleb, letting him have it.

Kamil looked down gravely at the watch, then back up to Caleb. "Where are you even going, idiot? Some shithole worse than this?"

Caleb looked out to the street.