Silver / clay

⊱ 30 ⊰

"Have you seen her?" said Caleb.

"Oh, hey Caleb," said Marcus, scanning a packet of imitation cheese.

"Have you seen her!?" His eyes were wide, his body leaning over the conveyor belt.

"Who?"

"Who?!" said Caleb. It was all unravelling. The warmth from their last conversation had lasted maybe a few hours before reality hit home. "Who do you think?"

"Oh, do you mean Amala?" said Caleb.

"Of course Amala!"

"Uh," said Marcus, as a ball of coins fell into his hand. The old customer told him it was the correct amount, to the cent, but Marcus counted anyway.

Caleb's breathing was vigorous, as he waited, had to wait, for the answer.

"I think you gave me five cents more," said Marcus, handing it back to the old customer.

Caleb's eyes flickered. He shifted forward, moving the old customer along with his presence alone. "Have you seen Amala?" he said.

"No," said Marcus. "I don't know."

"You don't know?"

"I mean, I thought I was interested in that kind of thing but it's not really...I suppose it's not really my thing."

"How could you...?" said Caleb, shaking his head in disbelief. It was as if the world was topsy turvy.

"It was a bit silly, let's be honest."

Caleb's muscles contracted. In his mind Marcus was on the floor, his nose bleeding, his lesson learnt. Instead, Caleb focussed on the most pressing need: "So you don't know where she is? Where she's gone?"

Marcus screwed his face up as he shook it. "No. But if you want to hang out later--"

But Caleb was gone, quickly finding his way to a building he knew well. The paint had begun to peel further from the weathered exterior walls, and a broken window was hastily patched with a piece of plywood, but otherwise it looked like home.

He knocked on the door, greeted by a stranger. "Do you..." he said, "Kamil. Is Kamil around?"

"Kamil?" said the stranger.

"Yeah, he lives here," said Caleb.

The stranger shook their head.

"What does that mean?" said Caleb. "He's not here right now or he doesn't live here?"

The stranger simply retreated into the house, closing the door, but not before Caleb stuck a foot out.

"Hey Ching-chong China man, where's Kamil?"

"He's from Korea, you ignorant racist." This voice belonged to another stranger, wider than he was tall.

"Oh, so now fattie's gonna help, too?" said Caleb. "Where the fuck's Kamil? Where's Amala?"

"Get out," said the second stranger, hauling his bulk closer. "Now!"

"You're not fuckin' worth it," said Caleb, retreating from the room, from the house, while simultaneously returning to it.

Why didn't she answer when he tried contacting her again? Why had she given up on him? Didn't she understand he needed her?

"Need her need her need her need her need..." mumbled Caleb.

He made his way to work but, rather than head to his team's corner of the floor, stood gazing over his old stomping ground, at his fellow newcomers, not so new, Patch chatting over a coffee to Riley, who gesticulated wildly, Drishti at her desk, discreetly eyeing Seb who pretended to work, and Xifeng, the only one who noticed him, an unnerving gaze he couldn't quite read. She opened her mouth as if to talk, despite the tyranny of distance, before deciding against it, cupping the aperture, her hand then dropping to her neck.

Caleb didn't engage with his old interlocutor, withholding his interrogation, a battle for another day, and instead found his way to his new office. The same glass walls as the rest of the building allowed him to see movement within. A man and a woman, dressed in relaxed suits, mingled with their own thoughts, waiting for him. There was something in the way they moved that made him feel uneasy.

The man turned his way, and a memory shot a tingle through him more than any cold breeze ever had. Caleb ducked his head down and moved on, past the room. Out the periphery of his vision he saw an animated response from the man, a chain reaction that hit the woman.

"Caleb?"

He shook his head and rushed to the stairwell, pattering down each step, skipping a few before each landing. Reaching ground floor, he flung the door open and before his vision adjusted to the bright light he rammed straight into a body. He looked up into those eyes.

"Caleb."

If his name was a question he knew the answer, and it brought more darkness than his soul could carry.