Autumn leaves

Chapter 2 - A mad man

I was standing behind the stage and watching him. He still hadn't noticed me, and I was happy about that. The last couple of weeks had been rough for the both of us. Standing here now and watching him made me question whether I wanted this or not. On top of the lies I found out, the question hadn't made it easier. It should have, but it didn't. How was I supposed to leave my son's father? Could I do that to my almost 3 years old son? Could I be that selfish? I sighed quietly and the tears threatened to fall. I tried to hold back, but few tears left my eyes. I was so stressed and sad. I didn't know what to do any longer. "Honey, are you okay?" I heard Pattie's petite voice say softly and caring. First when I had met Pattie, she hadn't been that welcome to me, but that quickly changed when we got to know each other. She was as my second mother. Now when my mom was so sway, I was grateful for all Pattie's help. It wasn't even before few weeks ago I found out why Pattie had acted all weird at me when I first met her. And I understood why. Who would think highly of someone who made his son dump another a girl, and then asked another one to be his the same day? I would have thought the same as her, been judgemental.

"I don't know what to do anymore, Pattie. I feel so sad. So confused" I whispered and she pulled me into a hug immediately. That made me just break, and now the tears were unstoppable to stop. I was so grateful for Pattie, now when my mom didn't live so close to me. She was like a second mother to me.

"Shhh dear, I promise it will be better later" I nodded even though I knew it wouldn't better. If Justin and our relationship hadn't been broken, it was now.

"I ... I think I want a break, Pattie" I whispered, but it was loud enough for Pattie to hear. And apparently also the people who just had walked by, including him. Everything after that seemed to be in blur. It all happened so quickly.

"Break? The fuck does that mean, Elena?" Justin hissed in my ear, then he took me by my arm and pulled me into his dressing room with a scared Pattie behind him. Before she could say or do anything, he smacked the door at her face. It all happened so fast, in a blur.

"Justin, that is your mother!" was the first that came out of me. I was in shock about the fact that he just slammed the door in poor Pattie's face.

"I couldn't give any fucks" he said loudly and angrily. "You want to leave me? That shit again? The. Fuck. You. Are, Elena. Just try me. You won't even leave me again. Am I clear enough?" The way he spoke to me made me feel like a little kid again. I didn't want this. I didn't deserve or need this.

"No" I said, but more to myself with a shaky voice.

"No? You have my last name and MY son. You are mine, and you won't leave me" I wanted to scream at him, and smack the living fuck also. I wasn't his. I may have his last name and his kid, but I wasn't his. I was not an object, but a human being. He was talking like I was a whore he just had bought. What I hated the most about him was him anger issues. He could be happy, and in a second so angry, that you wouldn't know how to act.

"You don't own me, Justin" my answer was simple and said so calmly that even I got surprised over my tone. It wasn't that I wanted a divorce. I couldn't for Jared's sake. I couldn't let him basically grow up without a father. How we ended up in this situation, I didn't know.

When I finally looked up to Justin, I could see that he was furious. The next thing happened so suddenly that I didn't fully comprehend what happened before he had pushed his pants up after emptying himself inside of me, and then he just left. He had just taken me against the door while people could possible hear and had heard us, and it wasn't even more than 5 minutes. It happened so quick and suddenly, like how he left. He had claimed his possession by taking me against the door at the arena of his dressing room, while people were pounding on the exact door to tell him how much time he had before he had to go on stage again. And I just stood there feeling so utterly disgusted. And dirty.