I Want to Hold Your Hand {COMPLETED}

Chapter Nineteen

I am seven weeks into my pregnancy and I am starting to show a little bit. I lay on the sofa, with Rocco in a little ball on my chest. Ben has my thighs on his lap with his hand on my belly. "We have a little baby." He smiles. "Yeah. Are just realizing this?" I laugh. "No. I'm still slightly in shock. That's all." He laughs. "And the way you fought someone while you're pregnant is pretty fucking badass." He smiles at me. "Badass? More like hormonal." I smirk. "Nah. Badass. You hear that bean, your mummy is a badass. Do not mess with her." Ben says, leaning over my stomach. "When are we going to tell everyone. I mean, it's April. I'm going to have to stop wearing baggy clothes eventually." I chuckle. I sit up moving Rocco off my chest and into his bed. "Maybe wear a tight t-shirt tomorrow." Ben suggests. "And what? I can't tuck my shirts into my trousers for eight more months." I laugh. "What about leggings?" He asks. "I do have some cute pairs of leggings." I say, swinging my legs from off of his lap. "Imma go for a kip." I say. "Since when do you use the word 'kip?'" Ben laughs. "Starting now." I say. I go into our shared room and flop onto the bed. I start singing Wonderwall. "Maybe, you're gonna be the one that saves me. And after all, you're my wonderwall." I sing quietly. I google how big the baby is. Ben walks into the room. "Blueberry." I state. "Pardon?" He chuckles. "Bean is the size of a blueberry." I explain. "Oh." He says, chuckling quietly. "Let's do something." Ben suggests. "And what would that be?" I ask, sitting up. "Let's go walk around Hyde Park for a bit. I mean, we can do it until the sun comes up like we did on Valentine's Day." Ben smiles. "We also had sex in Hyde Park. The time that I got pregnant?" I tease. He looks down at the ground. "Benny, of course I'll walk around Hyde Park with you." I smile. I get out of bed and put on a pair of joggers and one of Ben's jumpers. "Pretty soon, love, you won't be able to wear my jumpers." Ben chuckles. "Hey!" I giggle. I lay newspaper all over the floor because Rocco is not potty trained yet. I fill his bowl and lay is bed near ours. Ben grabs his keys and shoved them into the pocket of his jeans. I slip on my white Converse and Ben puts on his black converse. We leave the house, locking the door behind us. "It's nine. Meaning we've got a couple hours." I say, checking my phone. "Alright, then. Let's walk around the park for hours." He smiles, kissing my cheek. The cool air nips at my nose. Ben and I walk around Hyde Park in a comfortable silence, our fingers intertwined for hours. "So, this baby. Do we have room for it?" I break the silence. "Of course. It's a three bedroom house and we if we have twins then they can have their own rooms when they grow up." Ben says. "Let's hope for my sake that I will not have twins. One baby being pushed out is enough pain, but two. Hell no!" I laugh. "Let's get home to bed. I'm exhausted." Ben yawns. "Okay." I say, catching his yawn. "Ha! I made you yawn." Ben cheers. "Relax, Jones." I chuckle, wrapping my arms around his arm and my head on his shoulder. We walk back home. I put on a yellow cropped camisole, leaving my black lace underwear uncovered. "Your a bee!" Ben shouts. "Buzz." I say sarcastically. "What's with the sarcasm?" He asks, crossing his arms like a child. "I'm tired and don't want to deal." I say, getting into bed with him. A little whine snaps me into reality. I look down at Rocco. "Oops. Almost forgot about you." I lean over and lift him onto the bed, laying him in between Ben and I. I toss and turn all night while Ben sleeps soundly next to me. Around four in the morning, I get out of bed quietly, trying not to wake Ben. I sigh. "What is wrong with me?" I mutter, putting on one of Ben's jumpers and sitting outside, lighting a cigarette. (I know, it's bad to smoke while you're pregnant and I do not condone her actions.) Inhaling the smoke. I exhale after holding it in my lungs for a couple seconds. "You know, bean. Your daddy is fast asleep and I can't even have some shut eye." I say, looking down at my belly. "You talking to bean, angel?" Ben's voice startles me. "Yeah." I sigh. "Couldn't sleep?" He walks closer to me. "Yeah. No position will help me sleep." I groan, rubbing my face. "I'll find a position." Ben smirks. "Ben!" I giggle, slapping his chest lightly. "Just teasin' ya, angel." He smiles. I smile sadly back at him. "What's wrong, love?" He asks. "I'm just worried about bean." I sigh. "Why?" He asks. "My mum lost a kid before me and I'm just worried that it's a hereditary thing." I explain. "Bean'll be just fine. Don't worry." Ben hugs me. "I love you." I whisper. "I love you too, angel, so much." He whispers back. I put out my cigarette. "Let's go inside, yeah?" He grabs my hand. I nod, following him back inside. "We don't have to go to set today."  Ben says as I snuggle up to him on the sofa. "Yay." I mutter. "What do you want to do?" Ben asks. I pretend to think about it for a bit. I look up Ben and smile. "This." I say. He places a small, gentle kiss on my forehead. "Sounds awesome." He whispers, his hand on my belly.