You Gotta Be Kidding... (tordtom) (ON HIATUS)

Answers

I stop eating and look up. All I see are three concerned faces. Their eyes looking through every nook and cranny throughout my whole body searching for the answers that are safely tucked away in my mind. The pressure starts to build up, and it gets more intense the more time passes without any words escaping from anyone's mouths. It's an awkward silence, but I break it with a sigh.

"You sure you want me to explain the whole mess I went through while we're eating breakfast? It could take a while and the food might get cold-"

"I don't care Tord. Just being here with you eating breakfast with us feels wrong. I'm slowly losing my appetite just glancing at you. Please, answer my two questions before I start eating all of your bacon in front of you."

"Damn Edd, that's not nice of you."

"I don't give a shit. I'll even get Ringo to scratch your only working ey-"

Tom puts his hand over Edd's mouth to stop him from going even further.

"Sorry Tord, Edd's getting pissed from the lack of knowledge he's not receiving from you."

"Don't worry I forgive him Tom. He better not get Ringo to do that though."

I gather my thoughts together and try to simplify my answers. I open my mouth to speak.

"Alright, since Edd is desperate I'll start talking."

Matt, Edd, and Tom all look at me again, just waiting patiently.

"The reason why I was gone for a few years and why I'm only coming back now is because...I was afraid you guys would immediately kick my ass if you saw me a week later or y'know, if I came back too early after what happened. I waited three years, but I really wanted to come back soon. However, I couldn't just come back without training my body to get used to this new robotic arm. Could've bled to death if I wasn't too careful, but I'm free to use my arm however I want now. Most importantly though, I came back to properly apologize."

I look straight into Edd's eyes.

"I'm sorry. There's literally no other way I can express this feeling of mine. I know saying sorry isn't much to you, but it's a lot to me. It took me a lot of effort and dedication to even consider coming back, and I did it. This was the only option I had to get rid of all the guilt. It's weighing me down into insanity and I figured that if I came back...I wouldn't feel so lonely anymore...I just want to be loved...trusted..."

drip

drop

I look down at the table and see little puddles of tears that are slowly spreading out. Silently escaping my eye lids and rolling down my cheeks to my chin.

I hate crying.

I feel weak.

But...I don't have to feel like that anymore.

Not around them.

I suddenly feel someone hug me from behind. Edd.
Then someone else joins in the hug. Matt.
Lastly, I look up and see Tom walking over to me. He starts cupping my cheeks with his soft hands.
I never thought I'd see the day when Tom bursts into tears in front of my face and wraps his arms around my neck to hug the life out of me.
Out of the three people who's hugging me right now I'd say Tom's hug is the most passionate...

Interesting.

After a few more seconds of silent hugging Edd was the first one to let go. Then Matt released me from his grip. And before I knew it Tom quickly let go of me and ran out the door without any warning. He didn't even say goodbye.