My Strange Addiction || Solby

🔪 Twenty-two 🔪

"To be talking to you belladonna

Shoulda taken a break, not an Oxford comma"

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C o l b y ]

Jake had left a few hours ago, and now I was laying in my bed, just thinking about this whole situation.

Sam and I have only known each other for a week and a half, and I'm already catching feelings for him.

But I know out of all this, it could go well since I know for certain Sam has feelings for me as well.

It's just confusing. Why aren't I scared of him? He could kill me if he wanted to and he stalks me. You would think I would try to get away from Sam and break our friendship as soon as possible, but he wasn't letting that happen, and something about him kept urging me to hang out with him.

And, usually I don't ask people right on the spot to be friends with me like I did with Sam, but something about him when I first saw him made me want to be his friend.

And, I was terrified of him at first, but not like I thought. Just the thought of what he could do to me scared me. Him as a person, not so much.

His control of his 'scariness/creepiness' has gotten better since I've first met him. He doesn't really say anything creepy or stalk me as much as he used to.

If I didn't know any better, I would just think he's never liked anyone before and he doesn't know how to handle it, so he shows his affection in a creepy way.

But, judging by what he's told me, he's never really been loved or shown attention or affection properly. It may sound selfish because he wants all that, but you have to listen to what he tells you first. His parents never really pay attention to him. I've only seen them like 3 or 4 times, because the last time I was over there, his mom was trying to know me. Now after Sam and I have known each other, I have a feeling she isn't going to try to be around Sam and I as much as she was.

Sam seemed annoyed Every time his mom walked in, and to be honest, it was annoying.

I've never been to a friend's house where their parents constantly check in on us. Usually you would think they would back away so we can hang out. At least that's what I'm used to, but I guess not.

Right from the start of meeting Sam, i could tell he was a little off, but I couldn't really confirm it until he started doing all the stuff he does.

He said he purposely sometimes tries to scare people, but sometimes he does it without realizing.

And I'm not sure about that. I have a feeling he can't really control it. He's aware of it, but he doesn't notice it's wrong until I confront him about it.

I wish I could help, but you can only do so much for someone with a mental illness.

I mean, he takes pills. He probably has to see a therapist.

And, I really do hope he gets better. I see hope for him.

But...i kind of don't want him to change. I mean after all, the crazy weird Sam is the one I caught feelings for.

And usually it would be weird, but it makes me feel flustered how he cares and likes me so much.

The only thing I'm really worried about is, if he ever just loses full control and just explodes. And I already know it wouldn't go well.

I'm probably over thinking this whole situation, but it's genuinely something I think about a lot and I can't stop.

You'd probably do the Same if you had a psychotic friend/crush, right? I'm not just crazy.

I'm not sure if Sam has really ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend before. Maybe not even a friend..?

I don't know. I'm starting to just babble and overthink this whole thing and it's making my anxiety go crazy. It's not as bad as it seems, right?

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Word count: 695

Hey guys! Sorry for this short chapter. I just felt bad for not updating in like, 2 days. So here's an update! :) also, thank you so much for 300 followers!