Nesta and Cassian Oneshot

The Fight

"You're a bastard," I said. "Not because of who gave birth to you, but because of you, your personality, attitude, and arrogance. Those males have good reason to treat you as they do. You deserve to be reminded everyday." I could see the pain in his eyes that he was trying to hide, and I didn't care. Not until he flinched, the words on my tongue dissolved. I made him flinch, Cassian, the General of all the Illyrian armies, the greatest warrior I had ever seen, flinched because of me. I saw how hard he tried to contain it. That moment all my defenses were torn apart. That moment all my walls came crumbling down. My emotions plain on my face, the shame and regret. Why do I have to do this? Why do I hurt so many people? He stood there, frozen, in the middle of the living room. His wings braced to balance him against an attack.
"Cassian," I didn't know what to say. I tried again, "Cassian, I didn't mean-" That snapped him out of it, he gave me a quick joyless laugh, that didn't last for more than a few seconds. His face was unemotional and dispassionate in a way I had never seen before. "Yes, yes, you did. You meant every word, Nesta."..."I'm leaving for the night. Don't leave the house. I'll be back around breakfast." He headed towards the door not even changing into something warmer. "Do not leave this house," he still cared after everything I've said and done. "Why?" He turned around. "Why do you even try? Why do you care? How can you?" My voice was raw with emotion I don't let others see. He broke every emotional barrier I had. Uncertainty and anger colored his tone, "I don't know why. I don't know. I try to make you care about yourself, your happiness, as I do, and I always fail. The worst part is I don't do it for Feyre, Elain, Rhysand, or any of them, any of the people who love and care for me. I don't even do it for myself. I do it for you. I try time and time again. Even though I know, I know the only response I will get is comments that hit closer and closer to their mark. You might have given up, but I haven't." With that he walked out the door.