Daisy Chains

captain

{ a/n - i'm not so proud of this one, but no matter what you practice or believe in i feel like this lesson is a valuable one & wanted to share it with you all, as someone i idolize once did ♥ "don't be pulled into the daily ups and downs in this physical world. it's all an illusion. you have control of your reality." lowercase intended }

♥♥♥

the beating of my pulse under my fingertips pulls me back down and i get that feeling again: that strange sense of the universe grabbing my hand and yanking me down an unilluminated street that has someone else's name written on the signpost. a voice in the lining of my skin screams not to go down that street, that it's not the road i want to take, but i've been ignoring that voice for so long that even the wrong feels right now.

the universe is good at creating illusions. it's good at pulling people down the wrong streets and up the wrong hills and fooling the people into thinking that they're taking the right path. and we are good at falling for those illusions.  

and so i'm sitting here in the back of a taxi with the dark upholstery of the seat sticking to the back of my legs and the worn material seatbelt stratching at my skin with someone else driving me to somewhere i don't want to go. it is in this moment that i realize that this is exactly what i've been doing my whole life.

i can't count the amount of times when i've let other people live my life for me. the amount of times when i've been influenced by others and guided by the universe.

the taxi driver jerks the vehicle around a sharp corner, thrusting me towards the window. i glance out of it, squinting through the darkness which has coated every corner of the universe. streetlights flash by outside the window, their orange glow blurred by the speed of the car. a traffic light blinks an angry red at me, and the car eases to a halt.

red. mind over matter.

amber. soul over ego.

green. spiritual over physical. 

the car accelerates, and in that moment i renounce the universe's control over me. 

"excuse me?" my voice comes out hoarse, like my lips have been cemented for the past ten years and sound has finally departed from my lips. "change of plans. can you take me back to ludlow street please?"

the taxi driver grunts a reply. he's driving, but i'm navigating. it's his foot on the accelerator, but i'm the only captain of my fate.