lately the days seem to blur into a single mass of something endless and indescribable, as if time has become nothing more than a sequence of numbers, the days simply fading into a continuous pattern that i cannot escape. dragging myself to work each morning is something that consumes so much effort that by the time i get there all my energy has already been drained from me. i spend every day sitting at the same desk, waiting for something to happen that won't, searching for something i can't find, desperately trying to grasp some tiny sliver of hope that maybe this won't last forever, and maybe tomorrow will be a little better. but there has become no tomorrow. only a continuous today.
the harsh glow of the computer screen is starting to burn my eyes and the wooden desk is biting at my skin where my elbows are propped against it. a sigh weaves its way out of my mouth. it's this moment, in the unbearably familiar office in the late hours of a thursday afternoon, when i'm struck by the realizisation that i'm trapped.
if i were to walk out of this claustrophobic room now, get in my car and let the unmapped roads guide me towards a sky with unclouded stars, there would be consequences which don't even bear thinking about. an image of my boss flashes through my mind, and the fury in her eyes is almost tangible. a hungry cat mews helplessly from the back of my mind, demanding to be fed by her liberated owner. my skin prickles under the imaginary touch of a lover waiting tearfully to be reunited.
there are too many bonds keeping me tethered, and ultimately trapped, in my own reality. leaving is not an option. there's no way out. there's no escape.
suddenly, my breath hitches in my throat as if i'm being suffocated. in a way, i am. i'm drowning in the same faces, choking on the same words, blinded by the same landscape. trapped.
YOU ARE READING
Daisy Chains
Jugendliteratur❝ we're just fumbling through the grey, trying to find a heart that's not walking away. ❞ [ a collection of drabbles, musings and poetry ]
