Insatiable | 18+

a

What the fuck just happened?

I thought we were good. We had a connection, I knew she felt it too. We had plenty to talk about, the sex was amazing, and she made me just want to lock her up in my room so I could keep her all to myself. But then she abruptly decided it was all too much?

It simply didn't made any sense.

I was still a little shell-shocked after she walked out of my apartment. My feet stayed rooted on the floor. I didn't give chase, I wasn't sure if I was even supposed to. Women normally don't react this way with me; at least not in bed. There were even several times I had to be the one to ask them to leave when they overstayed their welcome, but there was never one who ran out on me.

Did I freak her out?

I flopped down onto my couch, staring up at my white ceiling. I felt lost. Confused. Rejected.

I have feelings for you...

My heart feels things for you and I can't seem to stop it...

I replayed the things she said, trying to process everything that came out of the blue. She was confessing to me, wasn't she? Was she trying to tell me she fell for me? Got attached? I mean, I did hear her blurt out those three words last night. But I thought it was out of passion. Women yell crazy things during sex and it was no surprise.

But we weren't having sex when she said it. She was sleepy, I assumed she just didn't knew what she was talking about. Yet maybe it was real. Maybe she meant it. Was she upset because I didn't say it back?

Do I love her? I asked myself.

Hell. I'd never thought I'd be capable of loving anyone. I wasn't even entirely certain what love would feel like. All I knew was that she made me happy, incredibly happy. I actually looked forward to seeing her and it wasn't all just about her body. It was her. Her sweet scent, those hidden innocence in her eyes, her mere presence. I could honestly just have her next to me, doing nothing, and I'd be contented.

That didn't sound like love to me yet. Was it even possible to fall in love with someone you've just met for three days? Perhaps she was just confused. I was sure this was fairly new to her as well as it was to me. She probably just didn't know what her feelings were.

My home suddenly felt so empty now that she left. She'd cleaned up our food from earlier and it was spick and span. There was visually no evidence of her anywhere anymore other than the memories I had in my head.

Why did things had to be so complicated? Can't two people just be happy together? She was a stubborn one, that I had to admit. Her mind was totally screwed up by the weird values her mother planted in her head. It was as if she'd shun at the first chance of anything remotely related to a man getting close to her.

I didn't expect her to give me her heart like she said. Well, or maybe I did. But it didn't sound as bad as she put it in my head. I just wanted her to want me. The same way I craved for her. I wasn't ever going to wreck her. If she'd let me, I was going to savour her. I'd place her in a tub made of glass, stroke her so tenderly like cotton. She was fragile—although not on the outside; but I would've taken care of her every need like the precious gem she was.

Ugh. I let out a loud groan, resting my arm over my eyes. Norman and Oscar would be mocking me if they knew what I did to myself. We were all adamant on no relationships for a reason—because it was too damn complicated. Yet, look at me now.

••

"Oh wow, that never happened before." Oscar said in a mildly ridiculed tone.

I rolled my eyes. "Obviously." I wouldn't have called up both of them if it had. I lasted an entire day doing nothing on the couch other than thinking of Vanessa and it was driving me insane.