Precious ¦ KTH ✔

8 - The Fight

He looks at me and then reverts his eyes to the floor, clearing his throat a couple of times before answering.

"Well... Not exactly..." He hesitates.

"What do you mean 'not exactly'?"

"I mean... They know I wanted to take a vacation alone, and that I would have arranged for it myself. But they think I'm still in South Korea", his tone apologetic.

"This means they don't know about me, is that so?"

"The Company does not know. And the others too actually..." He adds, lowering his voice. "Only Jimin does". He adds while lifting his eyes to me, probably in an attempt to read my expression.

But I myself don't even know how I feel. Embarrassed? Sad? Angry? Even grateful, in some twisted way...?

"Why haven't you told them?" My voice still calm as I'm trying to understand, hoping he doesn't let me down.

"Well, it's not written on paper but we pretty much are prohibited to date because, you know... the fans... They are the reason we do this and it's thanks to them if we became who we are. And so the fans should be our priority..."

"I know that, but you are real people too with friends, hobbies, a life beside work... So... you chose not to tell your Company".

"It's not like that... it's a bit complicated..." He tries, but my mind is already doubting everything.

I know about the fans, I am one too, but they are allowed to have a life. Moreover, it was him who reached out to me. And now I get to know that he can't, or doesn't want to, tell about me... then, what could I ever be to him?

"So what are you doing here? What are WE doing here?" My voice raises and he's taken aback by my questions; I can see from his frown and his wandering eyes that his mind is working to find the right words, but still, he doesn't answer as fast as I would like him too.

And I snap. "If you're here just to fuck, you could have saved your time and money to spend them on whomever or whatever you're used to back in Seoul".

As I say those words I realize what it is... Hurt, that's what I'm feeling.

"That's true... B-"

"Are you kidding me?!" I interrupt him, feeling a sting right through my chest.

My mind's a mess of thoughts and doubts and emotions, I just feel embarrassed of my naive hopes. And now, look at me, I'm here, closing my fists, trying not to let escape any of the tears that are welling in my eyes.

"So... I'm just a foreign experience to satisfy your urges? Were all your kind and so-called sincere words to me just lies? Because if this is what I am to you, then let me tell you that it's what you can be to me too. I fucked with the famous V of BTS, can you believe it? It's a pity he's just a fake". I end with a sarcastic tone and those burning tears on the verge of spilling over despite my efforts to hold them back.

In return he looks at me disconcerted. "You don't mean that. You're hurting and that's my fault, I know that..." He begins as he takes a step towards me, trying to grab my hands.

But those words, at this moment, sound just like pity to me, and I step back, avoiding his attempt, which disarrayes him.

"Yes, I'm hurt. But it's not your fault. It's mine for believing 'this' could have actually been something true, when in fact we have never even talked about it. I should have known better".

I vomit everything on him and I say what probably deep down I know I shouldn't.

"Because how could you possibly be interested in me? You, V, with a normal girl from nowhere. I thought you coming here meant something but I should have guessed that a couple of thousands of dollars for a trip are nothing for someone like you".