Never Kiss a Toad

Epilogue

Italy, February 1846

"What do you mean I need a gift?" Piero demanded of Toad. "I am marrying her twice!"

"I can assure you; you need a gift, and a romantic one."

Toad and Sally had followed Piero and Almyra to Italy, after the latter pair married in a wedding ceremony at St. George's that would only be recognized in England—and would never be recognized by Piero's mother. They were to stand up with the newlyweds at a Catholic ceremony in two days' time. Almyra had been studying the catechism for weeks. She would pay lip service to her husband's Church as long as the dowager was still alive, as her mother had when she married her first husband, Myron, a devout—but pragmatic—Methodist, for whom Almyra was named.

"I thought I was expected to give her pearls. I have a parure to go with the string I gave her a month ago."

Toad sighed. Any other idiot, he would leave to the mercies of the man's wife, but this particular idiot was his friend. Besides, he owed both D'Avieri brothers some measure of his present happiness. Piero had destroyed Crowhurst, and Arturo had captured Penchley in France, almost entirely by accident and put him aboard the nearest Kopet Dag ship, bound for Haverford in London. The man had been convicted of stealing letters from the diplomatic pouch and currently sat in Newgate awaiting execution as a traitor to the Crown.

"You are expected to give her pearls as a wedding gift," he explained. "You are expected to give her something else entirely for St. Valentine's Day."

"I thought pearls were meant to portray tears. Why do you ask me to give my wife tears for her wedding day?"

"They portray innocence and purity, I assume, as they are white and match the wedding gown, but I've not been stupid enough to ask Sally to explain it to me; she'd be explaining for three days. She says you are to give Almyra pearls to honor some important tradition or another, and my part in the drama is to tell you to acquire pearls and see that you accomplish it, not to ask why."

"Why did I agree to this? One's wedding day should be its own celebration, not an afterthought to a dead saint."

"All saints are dead, and you agreed because first, your mother would have castrated you had you forgone a Catholic service; second, your wife cannot be presented at the grand duke's court unless she has been married in Italy; and third, my sister has romantic notions. As such, you had better be excessively romantic."

"Hah! This from the man whose idea of romantic is to take his wife to Florence to be with another man!"

Toad's smile was smug. "I am very proud of the paper that Sally coauthored with Maddox, and I will be in the audience cheering when they both accept their medals." The smile turned inward, at something only he could see. "Believe me, when I told Sally I not only had no objection, but insisted she accept the medal in person, she found it very romantic!"

Piero snorted. "Spare me the details. All I am saying is, why should I listen to you? Your Sally is not like other women."

"For which I am truly grateful, but in some ways, she is like every other woman, and I have learned my lesson about gifts. Trust me, Piero. I went through this last year, and I tell you true: heat distributors are not an appropriate gift for St. Valentine's Day."

"Heat distributors?"

"The very latest model, too. She was always complaining about the chill in the London house, so I arranged for heat distributors to be moved ahead in the renovation plans. Apparently, 'thoughtful' is not the same thing as 'romantic,' and gifts for St. Valentine's Day are supposed to be 'romantic.'"