I silently made my way through the furthest corner of the cafeteria.
This is my soulful place, the lone table accompanied by two single seats perfectly suits an outcast like me. Not that it bothers me, I'm completely used to it since I was a sophomore.
As I sat on the plain brown chair I know that automatically multiple pairs of eyes were shifted at me. I would blankly look at them and then they would turn their gazes away. I'm used to it. There's nothing new.
But, this awful feeling I have inside eversince, I wish it would fade someday.
There's always the suppression of tears while I'm battling this strong emotion of mixed anguish and desolation. Guess what? My smile have turned prettier as I accepted the fact that no one wants to be around me. I'm perfectly okay with that. Though of course I'm a great pretender.
As I finished the sandwich my Mom prepared me I hurriedly put the lunch box inside my bag and immediately scurried back to my classroom before everyone notices the inkling of tears on my eyes that were about to fall.
I'm not fine at all, I admit. I hated why my situation turned out the way my deepest thoughts would never have wondered. I hate it that I have no friends here. Not even a single one.
But that was not the case before. I used to go with Jessie and Kate when we were freshmen. Those were the highlighting moments of my high school life and, I wouldn't have ask for more.
They are the prettiest in our batch, the most popular ones, and they were the best of friends. I on the other hand, just have enough brains to be the class valedictorian leaving the fact that my IQ is 110.
Honestly, the idea of being friends with these two never crossed my mind. I would have been happy if I was alone in the first place. Or I might be happier if I am an average student.
Yes. The friendship that they offered wasn't true. The perfect word to describe what were they really up for to me was "benefit". But friends are usually like that right? They help each other, school stuffs, and everything one cannot afford to do it all alone.
I'm sorry if I couldn't explicitly tell the reason why we parted ways, it's just too painful to remember it now. I thought being with them was the best decision I ever made, I didn't know that they were the first persons who would immensely break my heart.
Looking at them now, on one of our last days as seniors, I'm dearly hoping that I was with them laughing our hearts out to the jokes we shared that we won't get tired of hearing. I bit my lower lip as I caught the glance of Jessie on my seat.
"Pathetic." she breathed then quickly turned her gaze away. She whispered something to Kate that made them both laugh insultingly.
And now I'm sure that that was my last straw. The hot liquid pool of tears are just waiting for it's time to burst and sadly, that time is now. I can't take it anymore.
I know leaving the class this early would create a stain on my perfect record but I really needed to be out of here. No one would find out anyway that I'm not around. Unless it's my professors.
So without further hesitations, I moved my feet towards the gate exit with heavy stomps. I cried what my heart feels every time these persons treat me like trash. What have I done to deserve their hate and indifference? Do I deserve these for treating them like sisters and keeping them in my heart?
I stopped walking when a heavy stud fell beneath my shoulder. I'm not ready for the rain. But I guess I don't need that thing now.
With complete warning that all my things would surely get soaked due the storm I chose to continue. I never mind if I'd get sick later, for now these tears are needed to be concealed.
Halfway, I realized the rain had stopped from falling. I looked at my right side and I was surprised when I saw a girl my age is holding an umbrella for the both of us. She gently smiled as she offered her hand as a gesture of acknowledgement.
"I think you needed this one, Miss Eyre. I'm from the last section of our batch, Hannah Styles. Stop crying now, you can have us as your friends."
I never thought that the sky would be this generous. I further looked behind her and I noticed two other girls and a guy smiling widely at me. All I could do is cry and say thank you.
Years had passed and we became the best buddies. It's true that we have different personalities but that's what makes our friendship special.
Finding true friends in this world, is the most complicated thing to do. But when you found one, how lucky I am they are four, I'm sure it'll make your life more meaningful.
