In Between the Lines

Everything Has its Time (School Reunion)

A/N: italics are Rose's thought Bold is the Doctor's thoughts

"How many of us have there been traveling with you?" Rose said walking out of the diner.

"Does it matter?" asked the Doctor.

"Yeah, it does if I’m just the latest in a long line."

"As opposed to what?"

"I thought you and me were… I obviously got it wrong. I’ve been to the year 5 billion, right, but this… Now this is really seeing the future. You just leave us behind. Is that what you’re gonna do to me?"

I can’t believe I actually thought I…we…were special. That I meant something to him. I guess “forever” is until he decides to leave. All this time, all these memories, just to be thrown away like trash…

"No. Not to you."

How can I believe him when he’s done it so many times before? I bet he says this to all of his bloody companions…

"But Sarah Jane. You were that close to her once, and now, you never even mention her. Why not?" Rose asked.

"I don’t age. I regenerate. But humans decay. You wither and you die. Imagine watching that happen to someone you… "

…Love? I do love Rose Tyler. But do I want to tell her that? She probably already knows. What’s the point of saying something she already is fully aware of. But then again…

…someone you what? Love? Does he love me, really love me? It seems like it most of the time with all the hand holding and brilliant smiles he gives me. But right now, I wouldn’t be too sure. Better clarify what he’s saying…

"What, Doctor?"

I didn’t know what to say. She wanted to know the end of that sentence. But did I want to say it?

"You can spend the rest of your life with me… But I can’t spend the rest of mine with you. I have to live on. Alone."

Oh my gosh, I understand it now…if they had stayed…if I stay…he’ll have to get on without me eventually. But, he won’t be able to decide when or…or how I leave. He’ll have no control. It will be sudden maybe, or we’ll see it coming. Either way, we won’t be able to stop it. It might even be during one of our travels, god knows it’s dangerous. But, it’s my decision to make if I’m willing to take that risk and I am.

That’s life. Death is part of living, we all watch each other die. Every day, every minute a little closer to that final breath. Still, you don’t run away and you don’t hide. You face it head on and cherish every moment. Might as well live while you’re alive! It’ll hurt him and it will be terrifying…but he has to learn to hold on, enjoy what he has, and remember what good we had once it’s gone…

"That’s the curse of the Time Lords." The Doctor finished.

The curse of the Time Lords indeed. Everyone I’ve ever traveled with… Gone. Whether they died, they left me, I left them; they’re all gone. Everyone. Susan, Leela, and Romana all died in the Time War. I killed them. Every death that occurred during my adventures… They were all my fault. I’ve killed hundreds of people. Thousands maybe. And that’s not even counting those dead in the Time War.

There were millions on Gallifrey when it burned.

My entire race. My home. My people. My family. All gone. And I killed them.

All my companions who have died. I killed them too. It’s all my fault. 

And one day Rose Tyler will have to leave me or else she’ll die like all the others…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Let the lesson begin." Mr. Finch walked into the classroom that the Doctor, Rose, and Sarah Jane were gathered in. "Think of it, Doctor. With the paradigm solved, reality becomes clay in our hands. We can shape the universe and improve it."

"Oh, yeah, the whole of creation with the face of Mr. Finch. Call me old-fashioned, but I like things the way they are," the Doctor retorted.

"You act like such a radical and yet all you want to do is preserve the old order. Think of the changes that could be made if this power was used for good."

"What, by someone like you?"

"No. Someone like you. "

What? What does he mean by that?

"The paradigm gives us power, but you could give us wisdom. Become a god, at my side. Imagine what you could do. Think of the civilizations you could save. Perganon, Ascinta, your own people, Doctor. Standing tall. The Time Lords… Reborn"

Yeah, he could save so much…his people even…but nobody should have that much power. The power to say who lives and who dies. That doesn’t make you a god…it makes you a monster…

"Doctor, don’t listen to him." Sarah Jane chimed in.

"And you could be with him throughout eternity." Mr Finch turned to Sarah Jane "Young, fresh. Never wither, never age, never die. Their lives are so fleeting. So many goodbyes."

Forever…we’d get our forever…but how many others would too…?

I could keep them alive forever. Have Rose. Sarah Jane. Everyone.

…and how many would have their “forevers” torn away by the alterations…people unknown by the Doctor would be unable to escape the change…think Doctor, think!

"How lonely you must be, Doctor. Join us."

"I could save everyone."

…Nobody can save everyone…

"Yes."

"I could stop the war…”

“No.” Sarah Jane almost shouted. “The universe has to move forward. Pain and loss, they define us as much as happiness or love.”

She’s right…You can never appreciate the good without all the bad mixed in…and where is the excitement, the thrill, and even the real satisfaction in just sitting back and “fixing” the universe. The journey is equally as important as the end point…it makes us who we are and brings us closer and makes everything mean so much more…we can’t lose that…

“Whether it’s a world or a relationship. Everything has its time. And everything ends.”

I know everything ends. But the thought of stopping that from ever happening…The desire to save them is stronger than the desire to keep the balance of the universe. I could stop people from dying and save civilizations without causing casualties in the process.

I could stop Rose from dying…

It’s like what the Dalek said back when Rose and I had just started traveling; “What use are emotions when you can’t save the woman you love?”

I love Rose Tyler. And with the paradigm solved I’d have the chance to save her. To be with her forever…

…You can’t save me Doctor, not every time. You’ll have to let me go one day…come on, just enjoy what we have right now for as long as we can! You have to do what’s right, even though it’s hard, you taught me that…come on.

…No. Sarah Jane is right. The universe hasto move on. Everything has an end and I know that. Rose knows that. Rose knew that traveling with me was dangerous. She knows that.

The Doctor snatched up a chair and threw it at the screen holding the scrolling symbols.

“Out!” He shouted

Thank you Doctor…

Everything has its time, yes. But the Doctor was going to make sure that their time wasn’t now.