Another Michael

Chapter 12

I wake up and the room is completely dark. Could I have slept all through the day and it's night time again? Or does this room have perfect blackout blinds? I decide to feel my way to a light switch or a window, whichever is closer and check things out. I get out of bed and make my way to a window when I stumble onto something big on the floor. It's Michael, sleeping down there, right next to my bed. What on earth?!... He wakes up and says something incomprehensible. I can't see him in the dark, but find a lamp on the nightstand. Yes, he's down there, sleepy, in his clothes from the night before.

'Michael... what are you doing here?'

'I coulfn't sweep.'

'Excuse me?'

'I couldn't sleep. So I came here. I'm sorry I disturbed you.'

'You didn't disturb me. But why didn't you lay down on the bed?'

'I don't know. I didn't want to disturb you.'

'Got that, ok. Come up now.'

'No, no, I'll go to my room.' And he gets up off the floor.

'You can stay, I'd be happy to have you here.'

He stops for just a moment, but he doesn't want to quit and goes for the door.

'Come back if you want to' I tell him.

He gets out but doesn't leave and I hear his breathing out there.

What should I do? Go open the door and embarrass him or wait for him to leave? I'll embarrass him, what the heck.

I open the door and he's there, his whole body supported by the opposite wall, his eyes closed. I sigh. His vulnerability is making my own come up. The way his slender body leans against the wall, his shoulders down, his features worn out, it just makes me want to take him in my arms and hold him there forever. I take his hand and guide him back to the bedroom. He doesn't protest and follows me with his eyes closed. He lays down on the bed.

'Do you want to take your clothes off?' I ask.

'No.'

'Do you want me to take... help you take your clothes off?'

He opens his eyes and gives me the most surprised look.

'So you can sleep better...?' I add.

'No, no, I'm ok.' He says closing his eyelids over his bloodshot eyes.

I lay down next to him.

'I can't sleep' he tells me wearily. 'I can never sleep.'

'But you just slept and you did that also last night outside on the terrace.'

'That was the most I slept for the past three days. That's why I came back to your room. Because I can sleep next to you.'

That lives me with a bitter sweet feeling and I want to hug him again. So I get closer to him and as I push my body a bit higher on the bed, I put my left arm around his head and the other one on his shoulder. He sighs and relaxes into my hug and after a moment his breathing becomes deeper and I thought he fell asleep.

'I just want to lay next to you for a while...' he whispers.

I hold him tighter and he falls asleep as I stroke his hair, over and over again.

I stay there listening to the sound of his breathing, afraid to move so I wouldn't wake him. Eventually I fall asleep myself with him in my arms.

I don't know how much time passed, but when I woke up it seemed like I've been sleeping for years. I was still in my white dress, my hair was a mess and my body was numb from laying on the bed for so long. When I opened my eyes Michael was gone and there was this faint light coming from a light fixture above the bed. I was trying to accustom my eyes to the light, feeling I desperately needed a shower.