Shades of Us

Ten

Isobel

Being in that bed was like being in hell.

Each night they would come. Some nights it was three and other nights it was ten. Each night, she would wait.

They would come, claim her in any way the saw fit, drop coins onto her, then leave. They'd never stay after, it was too awkward and their guilt was too strong.

Sometimes she wondered about their mothers, whether they were beautiful. Whether or not they knew where their sons were or if they cared. Whether they were kind or cruel. Sometimes she wondered if they were dead like her own mother.

Some of them were more aggressive than others and she still had the bruises from last week. All of the aggressive ones were weak in their own ways. Deep down. Most of them had broken hearts. She could tell when their eyes would fill with rage in the way only broken hearts can. In the same way hers had looked at the beginning. She could never hate them, they reminded her too much of herself.

Then there were the kind ones, also heart broken, who needed a distraction. They would apologize after, never looking her in the eyes as they left. She'd almost love them as they hurried away. They were her preferred customers because she would never have to worry about them hurting her, they were too fragile for that. Most of them she would never see again unless it was when they were walking arm in arm with a woman in a beautiful dress. She was always happy then because they were smiling.

The broken were her specialty. She always saw so much of herself in them. In their touch, she saw the past. In their grunts, she saw the present. In their coins, she saw the future. The coins would add up one day and god, she couldn't wait for the broken to be in the past.