In the stars

Alibi

The reason or excuse why someone could not have done something.

I looked it up on google. Not because I didn't understand what the word meant, but because I can't understand how he got one? Google didn't help.

My mom is crying at the kitchen table. It is well over nine. I make dinner for the to of os, and try to eat whit her, but I can't stand her teras. Dad can deal with it when he gets home. If he gets home. He has been gone sens we found out. I turn away from the empty side of the bedroom. All of his stuff is still here. I don't want to look at it. I try to eat the chicken, but it all just comes right up again. I have to run to the toilet. Mom is still at the table. She isn't crying anymore, just starting. Like something broke her. I guess she is broken now. I will just have to live with the new mom. I walk in the room. And I can't stand it. I can't stand here. I have to forget. Forget it all. I close my eyes and I try to forget. Try.

We still have the boxes from when we moved here over a year ago. I take them all. And I start packing. First his clothing. The small shirts he loved. The t-shirt I gave him for Christmas. Mom comes into the room. She doesn't tell me to stop. She just stares. We took all the pictures of him down. All of the memories. I wonder if she has forgotten how he looks. What he sounds. I haven't. I can't.

I pack down the toys. They are still laying all over the floor. He never picked anything up. His books. Not that he rad any of them. He just liked to look. Like the child he was. I used to read aloud for him when we should have been asleep. He always promised me, that one day he would read to me. Now that day will never come. I close the box. Close that door, and go to the next.

I tare his bead sheet of. I want to be done. I don't know where mom is. maybe she is eating. Maby she is crying again. I close the box. The phone rings, and I wait. It keeps ringing. I leet it go to voice mail, while I carry the boxes out. I draw over the names. The phone rings again. Khitien - over. living room - over. Todd and Alan - over. I don't write anything new on the boxes. The phone is cold under my fingers. I couldn't bear the sound anymore.

"hello"

Silence "Is it Todd?" He sounds ... scared. I know ho it is, I don't even have to check the number.

"Yes"

"Is your mom home Todd?"

I look into the kitchen. Mom is at the table again. In front of the plate. She hasn't touched the food. It is properly cold by now.

"No"

"When will she be home?"

I look to here empty face again.

"I don't think she will be home in a while"

Silence again. "You can tell me" I try.

"I don't think that would be a good idea, Todd"

"I well know anyway"

Silence "I will make sure to tell mom, she will call you back" Mom doesn't even look op. She keeps staring at the blank wall. Mom will never call back.

I can hear how he sifts in his chare "Are you sure?"

It is my turn to be silent.

"Okay then" He stops a bit. I wait. "You brothers case is officially unsolved Todd" I fell the hole opening under me. I hold on to the phone.

"Okay"

"Okay?"

"Thanks for calling" I end the conversation like mom has chout me. I ignore the words that keep coming out of it and look back at her. I don't tell her.