law&order | johndojae

ACT I.: at home

with the arm rest locked up in his tight grip and his eyes following the million lights of the city life passing by in a silent glimmer like stars at the night sky jaehyun searched for something he knew he would never find

he searched for his new home in this country that even from above looked strikingly different compared to where he used to live

for a millionth time he questioned his decisions

was korea truly where he wanted to go?

was this where he belonged?

he wasn't too sure but one thing was clear

there was no going back

don't get him wrong he loved connecticut

that's where his family is and his friends who he all loved dearly

but it's also the place where his family is and his friends who made his life harder day by day by putting the shackles of responsibility and high expectations around his neck

one day it was too much

one day he woke up with his will to live suffocated and dead inside him

his legs would run and his hands would write but his mind was empty, his body just a shell

despite being none other than himself he felt foreign

it was impossible for him to recognize that the person looking back in the mirror with slumped down shoulders and dead eyes was him

cause jung jaehyun was a man full of confidence and fierce, a person with an unshakable mindset

a person who wouldn't crumble at anything

he couldn't comprehend that this man didn't exist anymore

that everything left was the sight reflected by his mirror

it might have been pride or him just not caring enough but jaehyun continued life the way it was despite being only a hollow version of himself

everything had turned into daily battles which he barely managed to win

during his last semester in college it got out of hand

without putting too much thought on it he had downed a whole bottle of sleeping pills which he had needed after developing insomnia

his roommate at that time had found him at an alarming state and called the ambulance right away

after getting a stomach pump the doctors had kept a close eye on him

in the end he was diagnosed with chronic major depression

after therapy he had found his way back to life and came to feel like himself again

most of his friends and his entire family never knew about this chapter of his life

shortly after college he knew he wanted to leave and find a place where he can finally be happy

this was why he applied to a random law firm in korea

since he was korean and knew the language even though his skills had gotten rusty over the years it seemed like a good choice

now that he was sitting in the plane - which was starting to land by the way - he was starting to doubt it

too caught up in ifs and shoulds he had't noticed they weren't flying anymore and only got back to here and now when the passangers clapped for the pilot and his save landing

with his backpack on his shoulders he stood up and slowly walked out of the crowded plane

the first thing he noticed outside was how different the air in korea was

jaehyun couldn't help but question whether it will ever be something familiar to him, something that would make him feel at home and that he would miss whenever he would leave this country

no matter how often he asked himself about the future he wouldn't know

but that doesn't only apply to him

everyone doesn't know and that is what somehow made him feel at peace

nobody knows what the future brings and that's okay

a sudden burst of confidence and certainty made him brush his worries away

it suddenly wasn't a risk anymore but a suprise gift only for him and he couldn't wait to unpack it

with a smile shining as bright as the stars in the nightsky and the city lights in the dark he hurried to pick up his luggage and call for a taxi

the drive was mostly silent as jaehyun was once again busy chasing after his thoughts but he hummed to the songs playing on the radio from time to time

feeling especially good he gave the driver a generous tip

with the elevator out of service he had to climb up the stairs to the sixth floor where he finally reached his new apartment

as soon as the door was closed behind him he started to strip down naked and crash on the kingsize bed with a contend smile on his face

maybe korea was a good decision

___

a/n: someone voted for this story and that made me feel motivated so here's a chapter BIGmarv3l
:)