The perks of being in Love

One Rainy day

The sky was covered with half white clouds and it had been raining for the past few hours. Few things are attached to our emotions like when the night gets darker, we get high on emotions. Same goes with the rain, it captures our mind and gets us into the world of thoughts.
The rain had slowed down and it was raining by drops. Sitting on a wooden bench, I had my eyes on some certain part of the the ground where rain drops were falling with same frequency for few minutes. You know why people love music? It is because music has a pleasing frequency in it which gets matched with human mind and people start thinking more deeply.Same goes with the Rain. Having myself high on thoughts, i was unaware of what is around me.
" Why do you get so deep in thoughts ? "
I heard someone asking me.
I had never noticed her sitting with me for God knows how long. Not having a satisfactory reply, she asked again;
" You are so rude, you don't want people around you".
" I am not rude Sarah, trust me I am not, I just find it difficult to express myself " I replied staring at her like she deserves to know about every bit of me.
She had always shared ninety percent of the conversation we ever had, she was more like a talkative person. She would render her random thoughts and would talk to me about every single thing that had happened to her the whole day.
" If she talks about her insecurities, her thoughts, her random mood swings," believe me you are special to her. I wish i had realised this by then.
I would listen to her whole day long, The only thing that would dread me was that she might ignore me." It really is painful when you are ignored by the person who's attention is the only thing you want in the world".
Sarah was the kind of person who kept talking even after saying bye for 100th time.
She already had said me bye three times by then. I always loved being around her, I would miss her the second she left. This was so annoying that i would sometimes just feel like running away and never coming back. She had always taunted me for being a nerd.
" You can never be 'a perfect guy ' for some girl ", she told me having smile on her face.
" You know there is no such thing as a 'perfect guy', if you truly care about someone, he will put every effort to be the 'perfect guy'.
She laughed loud looking me in the eyes like she was always impressed by my philosophical touch.
" I had always wished she had loved me the way I had loved her, she had felt for me the way I had felt for her, but it had never been my way. Actually its not her fault, its not anyone's fault, its just how it is. Most of the time the people we like don't like us back, Romeo and Juliet are the exception, not the rule.
She looked her watch and was like, "Oh jug we are late by five minutes, Sir Athar would already be in class. We need to rush towards the block."
I passed a smile over her curious face and packed my books up.
She asked annoyingly, " Why do you look skeptical sometimes, you look to me like I'm all yours, I bet you are hiding something behind that smile.
Show me the side where you feel lonely, anxious,and sad, the side which you hide behind that smile".
"Ahh! Sarah I wish I could tell you how empty i am from the inside", I thought desperately.
" Strange, but how else to look at you, You want me not to smile at all ? " I satisfied her somehow.
On our way back to class, I thought, " People are more in love with the idea of love than the people they are with".
I had Sarah as my friend for the past two years but never had i dared to confess to her. I just loved being around her and i considered myself fortunate to have her as friend.
"Sometimes we have things but we dont own them."
Sir Athar was delievering his lecture in his fascinating way as always. Everyone was involved in his lecture. I had always liked him for his soft and persuasing way of forwarding his lecture. Sir Athar had extraordinary credentials in his teaching career, may be that was why he had been controversial for years. People don't let you proceed towards success and highness in your life, may be this was the reason there had been so many controversies in his life. He was facing some serious domestic issues as well, with his betterhalf demanding divorce. Inspite of having so much stressed life, Sir Athar would look cool whenever he would enter our class. I had always wished to know more of him. I was curious of how could people think bad of a man of his attitude.
" Sometimes the way we think about a person is not the way he actually is . Its just that we think this way. People are sometimes more difficult to understand than we think they are. What we have got to do is to choose the best of the ways and engage ourselves in thinking purely positive. The world would be a better place this way".
" What is Ego? " Sir Athar would always ask a question in the end of his lecture, aiming to be collecting some opionated remarks from the students.Todays question was about Ego.
Few of the students had defined it and critically narrated it. Sir Athar would appreciate each one of those free hand opinions.
" You didn't say anything today, Jugghead." I heard sir Athar hoping some decent narration for Ego.
The whole class turned up to me as if I had something that would surprise each one them. I had been always that one guy in the whole class who feared his own mates, who trembled whenever he had to say something infront of the whole class. Besides being less confident, I had had the best of the opinions always.
" Love is the most powerful thing God has gifted humans. Acting and thinking out of fear and doubt causes more pain and suffering. Acting out of love and trust brings more happiness and confidence. Being in love with someone who is around you, brings out the confidence in you that you never even knew existed".
I had Sarah around me, She had always helped me with it. She would always tell me,
" You are my best friend Jug,Whatever today brings, I want you to set aside your fears & doubts and just have this confidence:
I love you so much and I am backing you up. I am cheering for u and most of all I believe in you.
Yes, you can. Just keep moving forward".
This had always gathered a new hope in me and I had done things that I would never have thought of normally.
" Ego is actually the enemy of working well with others. Ego costs us more than anything, sometimes we let precious things go off following our ego. We must lose our ego if we seriously want to win, lose it now or remain forever lost in stagnation.Your ego is not worth your time, be aggressive in your prayers to make your visions and dreams come alive! Fight the good fight of faith, fight for destiny not for ego!"
"This was the best of the opinions, keep up the good work." Sir Athar left the class appreciating me.