The Doe Eyed Dork

III - The Beginning

"Lisa-yah! Your bad mood isn't gonna earn you money. Snap out of it!" The director roars across the studio.

I'm currently filming my solo scenes for our music video for As If It's Your Last and I feel like total shit.

I lick my lips (a nervous habit) and I silently curse. This is the fourth time I've been scolded today and I'm starting to get really worked up.

I see my manager approach me while my stylists give me touch-ups. "Hey, please cheer up for a bit. I know you feel like crap but you need to feel like you're in cloud 9 for this scene." she searches my face.

"Manager unnie, I-" I start, close to tears as I try to voice my thoughts to her, but she cut me off.

"Lisa, not now. We need to work, okay? You need to get used to this. Set those emotions aside for now. There are a lot of people waiting for this scene to be cut." Her voice is stern as she meets my eyes, worry evident in her expression.

I nod in response. Feeling crushed and defeated. Ah, well. I signed up for this.

After a few more curses from the director, I finish with all my scenes for the day and immediately storm into one of the dressing rooms.

I locked the door, blocked out everything work related, and broke down.

"Stupid director. Stupid fans. Stupid Jungkook." I silently sob in a corner, cradling my hurt ego like a baby.

Knock knock.

"Lisa, open up. It's Jennie unnie." Her voice muffled through the thick door.

"Lili... please let us in." Just by hearing Rosé's voice I can already tell she's on the verge of crying.

And that just made me cry even harder. My unnies, they love me so much. They've been so kind to me since day one. Why can't others be like that?

I tried to compose myself, enough to get up and open the door for them.

"Yah Lisa! Open this God damned door or I swear to fu-"

"Jisoo unnie... there's no need to swear. I'm here." I smile at her while my tears ceaselessly fall.

Her angry and worried expression instantly vanished and I hear her exhale in relief. She immediately pulled me in for a hug.

"Lisa! Don't scare us like that again!" Rosé cries and hugs me as well. Soon enough I find myself in the comforting embrace of all my members. What did I do to deserve them?

"You know you're not everything they said you were, right? And you know that those haters are just a bunch of dummies, right?" Jennie tries to comfort me, as she gathers my hair into a ponytail. I'm currently sitting on the floor with my back to the couch she's sitting on.

When they got me to calm down, we all decided to go home since I was the last to shoot a solo scene and we were basically done for the day. We're now just lounging in our living room while waiting for the takeout we ordered.

"Unnie, they're still people. Actual people who think that lowly of me. And have you seen the number of likes there are on those vile comments?" I countered.

My voice is almost hoarse from crying. I barely slept a wink last night because I decided to read the articles and comments about me and a male idol, Jungkook.

Well idols, cause there's Taehyung too.

After several award shows together, a lot of fans have started shipping us because of our dumb reactions to each other, which to be honest weren't all that much from my end, cause I've already been warned by my managers.

As for BTS though, well... seems like they haven't gotten the memo. That, or they just didn't care about the backlash. Makes sense though since they aren't usually at the receiving end of the hate.

I wouldn't really have found out about the stupid ships if it weren't for Sehun.

We were texting last night as per usual when he decided to tease me about it. He sent me a link to one of the articles after I asked him just what the hell he was on about. I was curious, and as the famous saying goes, curiosity killed the cat.

~

"Ew why would our maknaes like her? Have you seen her face?"

"Her fake aegyo voice is so annoying. Tae is probably smiling to hide his pain."

"Haha! Y'all must be joking. At least ship Kookie with someone who isn't just BONES."

"That Thai girl really thinks the Jeon Jungkook likes her huh? She must be retarded."

"Look at the amount of makeup she has!"

"KEEP YOUR EYES OFF OF OUR BUNNY YOU STICK FIGURE!"

"Does she have anorexia? I hope she does so she dies of starving soon."

~

I haven't replied to Sehun since last night, and I hate myself for it. It's not his fault I decided to scroll deep into the comments, but I just didn't know what to tell him about it.

After my last encounter with Jungkook at the radio station, we never really crossed each other's paths except for the awards and music shows where we didn't even talk. We would just bow and politely smile when we run into each other like normal people do, yet fans still lost their freaking minds.

"Lisa?" I hear Jisoo's voice, snapping me out of my trance.

"Sorry unnie, what did you say?"

"I said the food is here. Come and eat. You haven't eaten anything today." She sets up the table and looks at me worriedly.

"Okay." I reply weakly as I get up from my spot.

"Lili, you know we're just worried about you, right? We don't want anything bad happening to you. We won't let that happen. Not anymore..." Rosé says, her eyes filled with unshed tears.

Bitter memories struck me and I instantly flinch. I feel really guilty to have reminded them of what happened. They wouldn't really react this way if it weren't for that.

"Chaeyoung-ah... I'm sorry. I'm sorry for worrying you guys." I look at all three of my unnies. "It's not even a big deal yet I'm causing so much distress."

"Of course it's a big deal, Lisa. Your worries are ours as well. Please don't think otherwise." Jennie replies.

"I appreciate that... Unnies, I promise. I won't let this affect me as much. We're idols. I should be used to this harsh treatment." I give them a reassuring smile.

"Nobody should be used to that kind of hate, Lalisa. But sadly it's also the reality of the life we chose. I'm proud that you're strong, but never be afraid to run to us when it gets too much, okay?" Jisoo ruffles my hair as she studies my face. "You're our one and only maknae, we'll always take care of you."

I sniffle and try to laugh all of our worries away. "Okay, enough with the mushies. It's starting to make me gag."

They giggle with me, seemingly relieved to get rid of the heavy atmosphere.

Ahhh this is all your fault, Jeon Jungkook, Kim Taehyung.

(a/n) THANK YOU FOR THE MEAGER 54 READSSS Y'ALL DONT KNOW HOW HAPPY THAT MAKES MEEEEE :< ❤️

Was this chapter too much? Do you prefer keeping it lighthearted? I'm thinking of putting JK's POV in soon.

- A