Falice: Overboard

1

It was the summer of '87, when a yacht owned by Harold Cooper would arrive in the small town of Riverdale in need of repair. The weather was warm and sunny, perfect for lounging on the deck, which is where Harold's wife, Alice, would be found. 

There was no doubt in anyone's mind that Alice Cooper was an exceptionally attractive woman. Her bleach blonde hair was always quaffed to perfection and she wore the most extravagant outfits--when she wasn't in the tiniest string bikinis known to man. 

However, the elephant in the room no one could deny, was that Alice Cooper was an absolute bitch. Everyone, including Harold, could hardly stand to be around her. When she isn't demanding people to bend over backwards for her outrageous requests, she is yelling at them for not meeting her satisfaction. 

"Harold! Harold!" she shouted from the deck.

Her husband stopped his target practice momentarily, "Yes, muffin?" he asks in an irritated tone.

"What in God's name am I supposed to do for three days in this hillbilly town?!" she squawks at him. "If I'm stuck here, I'm doing some remodeling. I'm getting my closet updated!"

Harold sighs, adjusting the ridiculous captain's hat he insists on wearing, "Fine, angel, fine--" he says absentmindedly, going back to his target practice.

Alice smiles to herself, and cleans her sunglasses, putting them back on the bridge of her nose, "Andrew! I need another mimosa! Now!"

*

Several miles from where the Cooper yacht was docked, lived FP Jones and his children. He was a simple man, who lost his wife three years ago and was now attempting to raise his unruly youngsters alone. FP was a carpenter, who got a call about some closet emergency in a yacht that was going to be temporarily docked in town. He thought they were joking, but he agreed to do the job, assuming he'd make a nice little profit off the deal. 

He arrived at the port, wearing a pair of denim jeans, a white beater and work boots. He hadn't had time to shave, so his scruff was a bit more unkept than usual.

"Hello?! Mr. Cooper?" he called out, trying to get someone's attention, "Anyone home?"

Harold popped his head out from the deck, a drink in hand, "Are you lost?"

FP smiles, setting down his tools, "I don't think so! I'm uh--here to fix a closet...? Something about an emergency--"

"Oh, you must be the...carpenter. Well, that is all my wife's doing."

Without another word he disappears back from where he came from, leaving FP alone. A minute later, he hears a woman's voice echo behind him, "You're the carpenter?"

He turns toward the voice quickly, noticing a stunning blonde woman wearing a white one-piece swimsuit, which was cut lower than he'd ever seen before--along with the most blinding gold and white sequin robe. 

FP's trying not to stare, but he can tell she does not belong in Riverdale--that was for damn sure. He extends his hand to her, "Yeah--FP Jones."

"You're late," she says sharply, turning quickly on her heel, and snapping her fingers at him to follow. 

"This is absolutely beautiful," he comments, walking after her. 

Alice turns her head slightly in his direction, "Try not to touch anything."

She leads him to her bedroom, where the closet was meant to be built, "Don't walk so close to me."

FP can't believe how incredibly rude she is. He simply holds his tongue and tries to remain professional. 

"Here is my current closet--as you can see it is incredibly inadequate," she moans, "I need shoe racks for all my shoes--"

FP stops her, "Uh, ma'am I was told this was some kind of an emergency."

"It is," she states bluntly, "I need drawers for my lingerie--I'm sick of them being stuffed in these boxes..."

He doesn't respond to her and she looks up at him with disdain, "Hello?"

FP was trying to analyze the situation in front of him, "Uh, yeah, I'm sorry--so you want me to remodel your closet?"

"Isn't that what I've been explaining in great detail?" she snarls, "Is English your second language?"

He half laughs, thinking she's joking, but she is unfortunately dead serious. God he hated this woman. 

"Carpenter, you have forty-eight hours to finish this for me--I suggest you get started," she gives him a sinful smile, "Andrew--watch him," she says to her butler before exiting the room. 

FP can't believe this woman is real. He also can't believe he got roped into this. He pulls out his tape measure and starts taking some measurements.

"Shit, FP...what have you gotten yourself into?" he mutters under his breath, running a hand through his dark hair and picking up one of her stilettos, shaking his head.  

***

Hey, guys! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of my Overboard inspired fic. I recently watched the 1987 movie again, and HIGHLY suggest you watch it if you haven't before. **Many of these quotes are directly from the movie which I give full credit to.**

xx