Falice: Overboard

5

FP straightened out the collar of his shirt before heading inside Riverdale General Hospital. He confidently strides toward the front desk, resting an elbow on the counter. 

"Can I help you?" the receptionist says in a very monotone voice.

FP smiles, "Yeah, I'm actually here to pick up my wife. The cute little blonde lady who was rescued this morning--has amnesia now? That's her--that's my Ali."

Her face lights up upon hearing this, "Oh, praise the lord. I'll get Dr. Patel right away!"

FP waits in the lobby until a middle aged man in a white coat enters through the double doors, and he assumes it is Dr. Patel. The man smiles at him with pure joy radiating through every part of his body, "You're her husband?!"

"You bet I am. Poor little wifey loves going out for night swims--God, I was so worried about her. Thank God someone found her," FP says, pulling as much emotion out as he could, even wiping away a few fake tears.

Dr. Patel buys it, though. "Oh, you must have been absolutely worried sick!" He leads FP through some corridors and enters into what is labeled the 'psych' ward. 

"Well, here she is--"

"I still don't understand why pray tell you won't give me a private room! I cannot be trapped in these horrendous conditions another minute!" Alice's voice rings through the hallway.

FP feels his head pound over hearing her voice. But, if he wanted to convince everyone he was madly in love with her, he'd have to step up his game. 

He enters the room, putting on a cheesy smile upon seeing her, "Ali!" he exclaims, arms outstretched and moving toward her.

She furrows her brow staring at him up and down, "Stop! Who the hell are you?"

"Aw, angel--come on! You don't remember me? I'm your husband, FP Jones--we've only been married for thirteen years!" he says, moving to take her hand.

Alice pulls away immediately, "So, what's my name?"

"Ali. Mrs. Ali Jones."

"What's my maiden name?" she challenges.

FP tries to remain cool and collected, "Uhh...mm--Gooley."

Alice stares at him like he's insane, "Gooley? Ali Gooley? Where in god's name did I grow up?"

He chuckles, "You know--over in Goober, Idaho. We met when you were waiting tables at Hank's Donut World? I used to come in there all the time!"

She shudders, "I--I was a--waitress...?"

"Yeah, baby--you we're the greatest little waitress ever," he says reaching for her hand again. She quickly swats it away, "I don't recognize you at all!"

FP runs a hand through his hair in frustration, "Well--maybe you'll recognize this!" he leans forward, planting a big kiss on her lips and she squirms away from him moments later.

She stares at Dr. Patel with wide eyes, "Doctor! This man is not my husband!" 

Dr. Patel sighs, giving FP a sympathetic look, "Well, he sure seems to like you--"

"--and he's very handsome!" one nurse pipes up, and Dr. Patel quiets her, "But, I suppose we can't just hand her over to you without any verification...."

FP nods, "Oh, yeah--I, I understand," he tries to come up with a reason they should hand Alice over to him. Suddenly, he remembers something from when he was building her closet.