Depressed | Stray Kids | ✓

Chapter 13

"Please don't do this again Jeongin."

Jeongin POV

I heard what chan had said and whispered "Ok."

"Promise me jeongin" He murmured.

"I promise."

I'm probably going to break the promise. I have been in the hospital a few times before, but my members didn't know. They don't deserve to have my pain.

"When am i getting discharged?" I asked, smiling.

"The doctor said you could be discharged when your awake. Just drink a lot of water and be released for the next couple of hours." Woojin said.

I wanted to leave the hospital but they had to sign some papers and then we left. I stared out of the window seeing the Mapo bridge. We got home quickly. I realized that the beige wasn't that far from our dorm. I got out the door and slowly trudged back into the dorm. I looked up as everyone ran and hugged me. I remembered that the staff didn't know i came back. they don't know i was at the hospital. chan kept on trying to make me drink a lot of water.

"Do you want me to call the manager and ask them to do the concert later?" He said

"It's fine. It's in 6 hours. i can have enough rest."

Later

We had to get ready for the concert. The manager saw me and gave me a glare. I thought he might yell at me but we were running late so he just left me alone. I got dressed in a black t-shirt and black ripped jeans. I got my make up and hair done and i was fixing my microphone. Then i stood waiting for the others to finish. We were about to go out but Han couldn't put his microphone on correctly. Finally we went out on the stage and i put on my fake smile. My fake smile was really convincing, so no one would actually notice.

After The concert

My manager called me in and he yelled at me. He was so mad that i had ran away.

"WHY. WHY WOULD YOU RUN AWAY. YOU KNOW WE HAVE OUR COMEBACK COMING UP SOON."

"I'm sorry, manager hyung." I mumbled.

"What?"

"I'm sorry." i said louder

"Well sorry doesn't do anything. don't even try to apologize again." Manager hyung left the room.

Why. Why am i such a burden to my members. to the staff. I shouldn't even be here. I don't deserve to be here.

I slowly walked out of the door wipin my tears away. I ran to my room and locked the door. My head was in my arms and i sat down on the floor sobbing.

Why? Why do they say they care. They would be better off with out me. They hate me. They all hate me. Even our Stays. I hate myself. I hate you all.

I opened my closet and grabbed a blade. I sat back down and started to slash the blade across my arms. I cried and cut until someone knocked on my door.

"Jeongin? Are you Ok?"

I got up and rolled down my sleeve. Luckily my hair covered my eyes. I hadn't had the time to cut it. My hair covered my red puffy eyes. i opened the door, saw woojin and smiled.

"I'm fine hyung!"

"Are you sure?" He questioned

"Yes!"

"But you never call me hyung.." he paused "Anyways it's time for dinner."

"I'll be there soon."

He left while i quickly ran to the bathroom to bandage up my arm. When i was finished i went to the dining room and saw that everyone had already start to eat. I grabbed my bowl and put some food in it. I sat down and started to eat. The food didn't taste as appetizing as before. the other members had finished dinner and left to go wash up. I threw my food away and went to my bed. I lied there for a while trying to sleep.

"Jeongin!!" Someone said with an Australian accent

"Yes?"

"We're going to watch a movie. Do you wanna join." Felix asked

I would.. but i shouldn't go. they wouldn't want me here. my hyungs would be better off without me.

"No thanks."

"Ok!" and then i heard him run off.

I mutter

"I hate my shitty life"

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what's going to happen next?