What's Going On? (GirlxGirl)

Chapter 4: You're All I Need to Get By

Chapter 4: You're All I Need to Get By

Like an eagle protects his nest, for you I'll do my best

Stand by you like a tree and dare anybody to try and move me

The more time you spend with Kara, the more you feel for her.

You're sitting in a park by your house, on the swings. JJ has challenged you both to see who can get the highest.

"You're going down, Kara Mills." You reach out and pull on the chains of her swing. It doesn't help either of you but it makes her smile. You do everything you can to make her smile, to make her laugh. You just hope she enjoys spending time with you as much as you enjoy spending time with her.

"No way. Get off you big cheater." She tries to get your hand off and still gain momentum. JJ giggles at both of your antics.

You're still trying to swing higher than her so you decide to try and distract her. 

"Look. A clown," you say, pointing behind Kara. That grabs her attention. You know you're playing dirty, using her fear against her but you just want to win.

And you do win. The challenge, at least.

In celebration, you jump from the swing into the sand below. JJ cheers at your daredevil spirit. Jay and Kara tell you off for being such an 'idiot'.

You build a solid foundation, a solid friendship but before you know it, you want more. Even though you don't know what to do or say to tell Kara that, you know you want it.

The more time you spend with her, the stronger the feelings become and the more the memories come. You still remember very little but almost everything you do is of her.

*

The first time you kiss Kara, it leaves you with more confusion than you could imagine. From the moment your lips met, you felt something you couldn't quiet explain. Heat ran through you and you ran out into the cold, Kara calling for you.

You berate yourself for not resisting but the purity of the moment overwhelmed you. Seeing her laugh freely, seeing her happy has been breaking you down until you just couldn't resist.

That's why you're here now. Here in front of Michelle. You grip hold of her arms and press your lips to hers.

It's rushed, it's over, it's not you.

And that's how you really know, really know that even though you don't remember everything after all this time, Kara is incredibly special to you. Kissing Michelle has less than half the passion a look from Kara can induce.

Michelle pushes you back and slaps you across the face.

You feel the needle pushing more guilt into your veins and vaguely wonder if this is the last straw.

You don't cry, now. You just apologise and see Michelle's confused look before you walk away. You wonder if Michelle will forgive you if you just explain but you more important things to worry about, now.

The sun has set, the night has come and you're standing in front of Kara's-your front door. You knock, she answers.

"Come in." You do as she says. You notice the red rimmed eyes, the tear stained face. And for the first time you notice the way her wrist bones wrist stick out a little more, the way the smile she musters up isn't quite as bright as it once was.

For the first time, you see her.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay." It isn't. You know it isn't and that she shouldn't keep accepting everything you do like this. You want her to shout, to fight you, to not be so forgiving.