Short Stories

Little Devil

Little Devil =)

(A Women in her late twenties is walking around Asda, doing her weekly shopping with her husband)

Lauren: Did you remember to pick up the Asdas curry sauce in isle three?

Peter: Yes.

(On Laurens left shoulder a small devil appears and Peter's phone goes off. Peter moves away slightly to talk to the person on the end of the phone.)

Devil: Asdas? Get the real stuff you nit wit. Uncle Bens now that's the stuff.

Lauren: What the? Who are you?

Devil: I'm your guardian devil

Peter: Sorry Love. Work calls. Ill see you back at home later.

(Peter departs)

Devil: You cannot let that sausage just leave. Give him what for. Tell him to stay. Demand even.

Lauren: Devil! He is allowed to work. I don't mind doing the shopping. And I don't know what nor do I want a guardian devil.

Devil: (whispers) Still think you should get the Uncle Bens.

Lauren: Okay next is isle five for the chicken

Devil: What about isle four?

Lauren: What about it?

Devil: Helllllo chocolate! You have to get the chocolate. You cannot go shopping and not get the chocolate. Asda curry sauce was one thing. BUT NO CHOCLATE!

Lauren: I can do without the chocolate. I came into Asda for food not sweets.

Devil: NO Chocolate. Woman are you insane?

Lauren: Its not nice to call someone insane.

Devil: It is when it's the truth. GOD you're stupid.

Lauren: It's a bit ironic that you use the word God when he kicked you out of heaven.

Devil: If you remember I said GOD your Stupid. Meaning that you're just as stupid as he is. Duh! Now where's my pitch fork I'm sure I had it somewhere?

Lauren: (Slightly alarmed) P-Pitch Fork?

Devil: Yeah you know the thing I'm going to poke you in the eye with to make you see sense.

Lauren: And if you do that then I would have to go to the hospital. Which means not a nibble of chocolate for you.

Devil: (crosses arms) Fine no pitch for then.

Lauren: Next we need the Doritos for the nachos.

Devil: THAT'S DOWN THE CHOCOLATE ISEL! Wooopie. Were getting chocolate, were getting chocolate. La de da de da we're getting chocolate.

Lauren: NO little devil we're getting crisps.

Devil: Go on treat yourself pick up the choclate. NO don't you dare walk past. Back up, back up. Turn around and pick up the devilishly delicious galaxy chocolate.

Lauren: No Little devil. I cannot possibly do that. You know what they say, a moment on the lips a lifetime on the hips.

Devil: WINE! You just walked past the wine! Oi dumb dumb. WINE.

Lauren: What is with you. You're gluttony in disguise.

Devil: Hello did you not get the memo see...

(Devil begins routing around in his bin bag and pulls out the pitch fork and points to it)

Devil: ...see Pitch fork. Means I'm the devil. As well as this crown made out of two horns growing on my head and this fancy tail swishing out my flaming hot tushi.

Lauren: Keep that pitch fork away from me

Devil: But if I jab it in your eyes it will make you see sense you ning-con-poop.

Lauren: (Looking smug) Lets go get some chocolate then

Devil: YEY! Let's do the kan-kan. Y, M, C,A lets all do the Y, M Chocolate.

(Lauren Stops in the Chocolate Isle and picks up the Devil with two fingers and drops him on top of the galaxy chocolate)

Devil: Hey! What are you doing? Asda curry sauce lady don't leave me! You can keep the Asda Curry sauce you ninny and do without the chocolate!

Lauren: Do you know what I can do without?

Devil: (looking terrified) No don't say it. Don't say it.

Lauren: You. (Laughs)

(Lauren walks away looking all smug. Not noticing that the little Devil has jumped into her handbag,)