Just Friends

Chapter One

Love sucks.

It is nothing more than idealistic, naive and unrealistic expectations derived from warped, childlike minds. Minds manipulated and haunted by romance movies and fairy tales filled with lies and impossible promises.

That's what seems to be a common opinion now anyway.

All the movies and books show you how incredible love can be. They tell you how wild, free, and utterly breath-taking true love is. From Jane Austin to Brontë or even to more modern-day classics, they have influenced other writers, teachers, young romantics and the minds of the innocent and naïve.

The sad stories, you know the ones, the ones that make you cry or make you feel that pain deep in your chest until you feel like you can no longer breathe. They're worth every second, every sob and every teardrop you uncontrollably shed. It isn't because we particularly like to feel sad about tragic endings, were not some sort of strange yet oddly specific sadists. No, it's because even though we cry or feel torn up by the emotions of the story, no matter how relatable they seem at the time, in the end, it's worth it. It's worth it because of the epic love they had, the wild, thrilling adventures we witnessed before everything started to crumble. And usually, more often than not, if we're lucky, we see things come back together again after such heartache. It fills us with joy and hope that one day we could find the sort of love that could hold its ground and survive anything thrown in its direction.

I'm not going to lie; I want those things. Obviously not the sad, painful endings; I did mention that I'm not a sadist; I want the truly epic love that sweeps you off your feet and takes you to emotional places you never knew even existed.

I want that, and if you say that you don't, then I'm sorry, but either you're lying, or you're in denial.

We live in a day and age where true love and romance just isn't 'cool' anymore. It's all well and good when you're watching it on TV or reading it in a book, but to actually want to feel that way in real life? It's not 'cool'.

Falling in love with a handsome, irresistible man and wanting to get married isn't the 'cool' and 'in' thing to do anymore. Why? Who knows? Maybe it's because some people feel that getting married means that you're just another sheep, falling in line and accepting that it's just another way for our government to tell you what to do and control you. Or maybe it's because of a whole different reason, but who cares, right?

For all my life, for as long as I can remember, I've wanted that epic story. I want it with the whole of my being. Why wouldn't you want the young romance, the drama, and the adventure? Why wouldn't you want a handsome man to stand outside your window, holding up a boom box as he proclaims his epic love for you? How can you resist wondering what it would feel like to be sat on the back of his motorbike with your arms stretched out wide, free and happy? Or to simply have the arms of the man you love wrap around you, as you forget about the rest of the world. The world outside of the one that now belongs to you and him.

I can feel this longing and admit to myself that this is what I truly want but to show this to others and reveal that to people? I honestly think I can't or shouldn't. It's just not 'cool' anymore. In a time like this, it appears no man or woman is even willing to go through the effort of an epic love story. Maybe it's just simply because that's not what they truly want anymore. It feels as though if you want these things, it makes you too 'high maintenance', or it means you simply want something unrealistic and impossible. But why is it silly? How is it impossible? If you love someone so much, then why can't it be an epic adventure?

I'm not sure. Maybe we have all just gotten lazy when it comes to love.

A lot happened in my first couple of terms at university, and I wouldn't call them epic, and it certainly didn't resemble any love story I've heard of. Instead, it was full of heartache, sadness and even though I met some fantastic people along the way, loneliness.