Just Friends

Chapter Thirteen

We stare down at the small object on the table.

After I confessed, to Ellie, the events leading up to my breakdown a couple of days ago it took everything I had to stop her from doing something. Although don't get me wrong, I would love to see Ellie put Matt in his place or scream at him down the phone, it would just be too humiliating.

I don't want to go through that again. I just want to forget it ever happened and move past it instead of reliving it all.

In aid to change the subject, I had one last confession to make.

"He left a voicemail," I say, keeping my eyes fixated on the phone in front of us. My voice is flat, almost emotionless. The amount of shit I've been through whilst supposedly trying to improve my situation is phenomenal. I feel numb, unsure of the emotions and thoughts drowning my mind.

"Have you listened to it yet?" Ellie replies, I can hear the curiosity in her voice, but for the most part, she sounds concerned, cautious almost. It's not surprising that she might think something like this might send me back into a similar state I was in just a couple of months ago.

"No," I say a little defensively. I sigh and sit back in my chair, looking at her quizzical face. "I wasn't sure if I should." And it's true, is it really such a good idea to open those barely healed wounds?

"It could give you some closure?" she suggests with a slight smile.

I'm not so convinced. He hasn't spoken to me in months. Why would he choose now to call me?

When I don't say anything, Ellie picks up the phone gently and holds it out to me. "I'll be here for you. You know that, right?"

"Of course, I do," I smile back at her weakly. If I'm going to listen to the voicemail... Maybe I shouldn't be alone. I pick up the suddenly too large phone in my clumsy hands and press call on my voicemail.

For a moment I'm confused, unsure by what I'm hearing. Clicking the speaker button, I place the phone back down in the centre of the table.

"Turn it up!" Ellie demands but she reaches across and turns up the volume herself anyway.

I'm still a little confused, I can feel Ellies eyes watching me, searching for some sort of sign of what I'm going to do next. The shuffling of his pocket, I presume, as he walks around. I can hear footsteps as he takes each step.

"Jo, I'm so sorry..." Ellies voice is soft and caring.

I reach across and end the voice-message. Five whole minutes of nothing, we only listened to about a minute or so, but the lack of voices, the very lack of words makes the time stretch and warp.

"Don't be. It's okay," I say. At first, I was unsure how my voice would sound but it's clear and unwavering. I realise that I mean it. I'm not sure what I was hoping for but I'm okay with an empty voicemail, it's better than some of the alternatives. It definitely could have been worse. I lift my head and smile at her, placing the phone back in my pocket.

Ellie smiles back, pleased of my reaction. She's probably sick of seeing me in such a mess, I can imagine it makes a nice change for once. Standing up from the table she walks around and wraps her long arms around me. "A butt dial though?!" She jokes a little, sounding astonished.

"I know!" I giggle and squeeze her arms, leaning into the hug.

"Silver lining!" Ellie says cheerily. "You have plenty of time to pick yourself up and make yourself look sexy for tonight!"

I look at her confused, one eyebrow raised as I eye her suspiciously. "Tonight?" I question, my voice full of caution and doubt.

"Yes! Tonight!" smiling way too much for my liking she walks back around the table. "I am taking you out to a party!"

"Ellie..." I begin warning her, but she interrupts me, already knowing what I'm about to say.

"I know." She says holding her hands up in defence. "Don't worry, It's not at Matts!" She raises a suggestive eyebrow as though I should know what I'm going to say.

I stare at her questioningly, not sure what to do or say. Of course, there's a party, what else are students going to do with their Saturday nights? I think a night out could be good for me, especially if it's not at Matts. He might be there though....

"We are going to Braden's tonight!" interrupting my trial of thoughts, I now understand her suggestive expression.

I grin at her, more out of amusement than anything. If the look on Ellies face is anything to go by, she is certainly more excited than I am. The excitement is almost contagious. Almost.

"Fine," I say getting up from the chair. "I'm going to get a shower. What time are we leaving?"

Her smile broadens, obviously pleased with not needing to fight me on this. "Seven! You had better wear something amazing!"

I can practically hear the plan she is concocting in her mind. No doubt she is still way too thrilled by the prospect of setting me up with Braden. Not that I'm complaining, he is beyond hot and charming, but after this week's events, I can't help but feel a little overwhelmed by the idea.

I nod my head and without saying anything, I leave the room and head for the bathroom. There's nothing I want more right now than a nice, hot, soak in the bath. Not for the first time, I find myself wishing this apartment had more than just a small, grossly dated shower.

I grab a towel from my bedroom on the way past and for a moment I contemplate shutting the door and listening to the voicemail one more time in the comforts of my own room. I know it doesn't make much sense, but I have an almost overwhelming need to listen to it again. I don't expect its contents to have magically changed, so why? Why would I want to listen to five minutes of someone's pocket? I am happy with the message containing nothing.

I take my phone out, and with only a moment of hesitation, I toss in onto the bed before leaving for my shower.

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