Ikanaide

Chapter 6

(back to the present)

Katsuki's days that were once filled with excitement were now grey cold and monotonous. His friends had distanced themselves a bit since the accident. Though they had pretended not to care and to be glad Izuku did what she did they still just acted slightly... different. Maybe it was that their smiled were a bit off. Or that they didn't invite him to lunch as much. Maybe it was just Katsuki thinking too much. Funny. He didn't use to do that.

No one at school really cared about what he did. Izuku wasn't the kind of person these people cared about. Some even acted like they were relieved he was gone. Katsuki wanted to punch those people. He couldn't truly understand why. He wasn't the kind of person to care for that nerd either. He in all honesty still somewhat hated him. But he felt that his reason for that may be changing... shifting. Or maybe not. Maybe it was once again just Katsuki thinking too much.

He sighed. This was new to him. This thinking thing. His therapist had told him that he needed to start thinking of the way his actions affect others. Or just others at all. He thought thinking of others would be a mother trucking waste of time but here he is. Thinking of the reasons why his friends are acting differently.

"This is so pointless," he exclaimed sitting up and scooting back so that his head was against the wall. He sat up too quickly and all the blood rushing made his head hurt. He grit his teeth and began rubbing it gently to try to ease his pain. He growled and gave up and just let his hand fall. It hit something hard and smooth. He looked over to his side and saw his phone sitting there. He picked it up and saw that he had one unread message. He had thought for a second that it would be from his mom, but he then realized it was from his other parent telling him that he needed to eat dinner. He had forgotten.

He looked up at the ceiling and thought of his mom while trying to summon the strength to get up. They hadn't spoken since she found out what happened to Izuku. He never thought he would miss his mom. And even though he wouldn't admit it to himself he really missed his mother. She had always been there for him no matter what evil bad thing he had done, but this time? She wouldn't even look at him.

Oh, look at that. He was standing. He then decided he was too tired to eat. He would eat twice as much for breakfast and go to sleep now. He laid back down on his bed and did his best to quiet his mind and sleep.

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"Goodbye Kacchan."

Katsuki woke with a jump. His ragged breaths were growing more and more desperate by the second. His eyes darted around the room and, without his knowledge or consent, his arm had stretched out to grab hers. A hushed word slipped past his chapped lips, his breaths still coming out more heavy than was healthy. "Izuku," he whispered as a single tear trailed down his puffy cheeks. He really didn't understand this. This feeling of... what exactly? He had never felt anything like this, and he had definitely never felt any emotion quite this strongly. It hurt.

He didn't want to be, but he was awake now, and it was probably for good. He stalked into his bathroom and forced himself to brush his teeth and put new clothes on. He was finding that it got harder and harder for him to do simple things to take care of himself these days. Something as simple as changing his clothes seemed to take more energy than he had in him.

He grabbed himself an apple and headed out the door. Sure he was too early to go to school, but that's not where he was going. He had someone he needed to visit. Someone he needed to talk to. So he walked, his heart a compass directing him to the Midoriya household. He knew Inko didn't want to see him, but he wanted, no needed to see her.

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Inko Midoriya hasn't been okay lately. How could she? Her daughter had been being bullied and she didn't even know! All the "cooking accidents", "trips on the stairs", and most importantly the "cat scratches"... They had never been accidents for a second. Half of them were from Katsuki... the others from herself. It had all been happening and she was too stupid to notice. It was her own daughter! What kind of person doesn't see that on their own daughter!

Still, she had to keep going. She had to carry on and not be broken. For Izuku. She would be out of the hospital soon, and when she got home she needed to be welcomed with happy faces and open arms. So for her daughter, that's what she would be. A strong, smiling pillar of support. She wiped her tears and took a deep breath. She could do this! If she could stand what happened with her husband she could handle this! ...Couldn't she?

Before she had a second to ponder that question she heard a knock at the door. She was momentarily afraid. After all... who would be at her doorstep at five am? As she began to back away the stranger spoke. "Mrs. Midoriya?" came the voice. It was Katsuki. The boy who had caused this whole mess! Her blood began to boil as she walked to the door. "YOUV'E GOT A LOT OF NERVE COMING AROUND HERE BAKU-" her sentence was cut short as she laid eyes on her daughter's bully.

He was a skeleton with skin stretched over him. His once thick muscular body was replaced with that of an anorexics. His once handsome face was swollen on the cheeks, and his eyes were sunken in. The bags under his eyes had bags, and his face was scruffy from not having a good shave in a while. His bloodshot eyes seemed to refuse to meet hers.

"I know..." was all he said before the tears took over him. He sunk to his knees. "I don't know what's wrong with me..." he said his voice full of cracks. He looked up to her with hopeless eyes, "I messed up. I messed up so bad! And now... now shes... And its," he broke out in a coughing fit then began again gripping his stomach, "It's my fault!" he exclaimed before doubling over.

Most of the rage she had felt before boiled down to nothing. There was stil some left, but she realized she didn't need to take this out on him. He was punishing himsef enough for it already. There was nothing she could do to him to make him feel worse than he already did. Still... she had half a mind to close the door and leave him there. She was only human after all. So after a few minutes of thinking thats what she did. With an icy, "Yes it is," she left him there.

It was only two hours later when she saw him still there on her porch sniffling that she even considered inviting him in. She sighed, her kindness once again taking over. "Come in, Katsuki," she said. Her exhaustion took over her spite as she gave him a sleepy small smile and gestured in with her arm. He got up and entered her small apartment. To say it was a mess was an understatement.

"Sorry for the mess. I haven't been all too tidy since..." she sighed.

"I'll clean it." he offered quietly.

"What?" Asked Inko softly.

"I'll clean your house. I mean it's the least I can do... please," he said his eyes greeting hers for the first time.

She gave him another soft smile. "Why don't we do it together?"

They began cleaning and soon they found their rhythm. Inko would put things away where they go and Katsuki would dust and wipe them down. Soon they got down t the last room... Izuku's room. Inko had just finished putting the freshly cleaned bedding on it when Katsuki walked in. "All yours," she said walking out the door and shutting it behind her.

Looking around the all might infested room he realized what he had been feeling. Guilt. He felt it even more so when he looked at the picture on the nightstand. A young Izuku stood there holding a younger version of himself in her arms. He walked over to the picture, picked it up, and stared at it. They had been so happy. He laid down on the bed still looking at the picture. He wondered... would she ever hold him like that again? Before he had a moment to think about that he drifted off into sleep.