A Girl They Called YOLANDA

Through her eyes

Chapter 3

" i was born broken and for years i spent making broken into my own beauty , but now im shattered , and i didn't know it unfortunately, scattered like ashes Watching myself turn into dust, i didn't know anymore , i couldn't fit in with the rest , even at my best,

I couldn't pretend anymore, i use to have purpose And now im not sure! I am stuck in this depth of hell , burning on Earth for eternity. I have seen it, trust me running from the darkness as i see my light dim, not once or twice , and now im is surrounded by them ,

the demons i mean . There is no way i can leave now, im stuck . Stuck here , Zombified! Horrified!. Finally seeing what I was meant to see, i was backed into a corner i felt it , i even said once or twice they were coming for me . i just wasn't meant to be .

I felt defeated & i got tired of pleading i knew i wasn't going to give up, but who to say i wouldn't have gave in, I mean I did try and try especially When i thought it was me against them. i knew i wouldn't win this time I did I knew , i surrendered. I was on knees

I begged them just take me I begged them to do it, I told them hurry please , i knew they wouldn't of As they usually would just laugh and mock me. .Playing with me as if i was a doll or toy for the hounds. I wasn't going to fight them but i did stand my ground. You would have been proud, i did it quietly this time, without making a sound

Shhhh! Hush.

A glimpse of me passed by but as a memory I know it instead of an image. Remembering the life I use to live and love slightly, i was a delicate being, A joyful person, I could light up a room when I smiled, but I could also dim It to if I was saddened. I felt that smile I use to smile. but not definitely, as it has been a while since i had smiled or remembered what one felt like .
A little piece of myself flew by her today I know it because the scent i use to wear, she said she could smell . Dancing right passed her, with her my best friend, to the music she now listens to , and i like it, A light still shines upon her day, She's knows im here, its funny although I'm not really there, only a glimpse Of myself still passes by.

I know left you behind please know I didn't Run away, i know i hurt you when i died. I just felt so alone sis, if you only knew I had to go, I didn't want to, I just couldn't hide anymore. I shattered inside, Love, has life, in the middle of each being, A person's soul, is the aspect of believing. Coming together as one..
Overcoming obstacles , is the strength of falling down and getting back up, Some will never see it that way and they become all turned around feeling like they are losing forever. And then their values become a motive the thing that makes them wonder why. Each time they cry.

Emotions are draining I'm only maintaining here, it Feels like I'm continuously losing And i am never winning, i was wrong to do what I had done! So wrong sis. Truth is I gave up, ill admit it , i gave up on wanting to fight my demons A battle I would never win .
I always play, the Memories of us here it keeps me going, a light in my darkness. I Remember Laughing then, and now my smile fades Surrounded by darkness but oddly sis i am okay