Irony of Revenge

Chapter 6

Jinyoung could not forget what he had felt that day - seeing Mark and Hyebin together in the relaxation room. It had haunted him the following days. He was well aware that something was going deeper than he would have wanted it to.

He was torn between wanting to hold onto those feelings and wanting to drive them away from him. Guilt was also a part of what had been going through his mind recently, especially when the image of Jieun popped up in his mind. Through the entire two years of their relationship, he had never imagined himself having the feelings for someone else. He had already pictured his life with her. But he was not so sure now.

He knew, amidst all these confusing thoughts, that seeing Mark and being with him, would just complicate them more and make them worse. Yet, his heart still leapt in anticipation when Mark texted him that he was at the golf club and wanted him to come out.

They met at the usual place. Mark was just in a simple T-shirt and Jinyoung had to take a moment to stare at him as Mark looked so boyish and handsome in such casual clothes.

"Long time no see," Mark said.

"How? It's been only a few days since we last met."

"Yet it's seemed too long," Mark said, barely audible.

Jinyoung felt his heart was moving in its fast rhythm. He swallowed hard and looked away, as his conscience was still warning him of the consequences there would be if he gave himself away.

Mark took out a golf club from the golf bag and carried on getting everything ready to play, while Jinyoung watched him, in silence.

Jinyoung felt that the atmosphere between them was not as lively as it used to be before. Mark looked somehow solemn and rarely spared a glance at Jinyoung, while he was setting the golf equipments up.

"Finished?" Jinyoung asked, when Mark finally got up from his crouch position, having set a ball on the tee.

"Yes, you'll watch me?"

"Indeed."

"I wish we could do something else, rather than just me playing golf and you monitoring me," Mark said, his voice somewhat laced with a sense of longing.

"What do you want to do?" Jinyoung asked," I thought you were here mainly to practise."

Mark knew, himself, that playing golf had just always been his excuse to be here. To see Jinyoung. Whenever he had some free time, he could have just chilled at home. But being with Jinyoung was always a preferable option.

"Some day, I want to go out somewhere with you. I mean, not with our girlfriends but on our own. What do you think?"

"I'd love to," Jinyoung said. "Anytime."

Mark nodded. His eyes were steady on Jinyoung for a long moment and then turned solemn and intense again. He turned away and got himself ready, afterwards, to begin playing golf.

For the first few swings, he was doing fine with the balls landing in close proximity to the hole or a little bit beyond it. All in all, he was doing better than before.

But then, for the following swings, he lost this balance. Some swings became too high with the balls getting so far from the target and others were so weak that the balls did not get close even to the previous ones which were near to the hole.

Jinyoung watched him and began to suspect Mark was taking what might be called moody swings. He thought of asking Mark what was wrong or telling him to focus more, but he, at last, just let Mark do whatever he wanted.

After a few more swings, Mark seemed to have exhausted himself and halted. Jinyoung could see that Mark was not in a much good mood.

"Is something bothering you? Do you need anything?" Jinyoung asked, concerned.

For a long moment, Mark only stared at him without any words and then shook his head.

"Do you want to take a rest?"

"No," Mark said. He got himself in the ready position again, although his concentration was lacking.

Jinyoung stepped forward, when he noticed Mark's shoulders were bending forward unequally.

"Just a moment."

Mark looked at him and then at his hands reaching for his shoulders.

"Have you already forgot the correct position?"

Mark made no reply and only remained his gaze on Jinyoung. When their eyes met, they could not look away from each other.

Jinyoung wished time would stop now and he would not need to think of anything else but only melt in Mark's gaze. But this was what he should be hoping for; and no matter how he tried, he would never be able to get out of the reality.

He shifted his eyes and stared down at the ground, absently.

"Jinyoung ah." Mark tilted his chin upwards and when their eyes were on each other again, Mark crashed his lips against Jinyoung's, while drawing him closer.

Jinyoung thought of pushing Mark away but this feeling was so right that all the thoughts of resisting it vanished right away. He locked his arms around Mark and responded to his lips with the same amount of energy. This intimacy was what he had been wishing for. He had wanted it; he wanted Mark. Or it might be more than just want.

They reluctantly pulled away when they were in need of air. Jinyoung stared at Mark's moist lips and felt the urge to kiss them again.

"What does this mean?" Jinyoung asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

"I like you, Jinyoung. I know we are already taken men. But do you also feel it? Something we've never felt even with our girlfriends? Because that is what I'm feeling now. I don't know whether it makes sense to you, but you mean much more to me than she does, Jinyoung."

"I thought I was the only one feeling this way. I like you too, Mark. I do like you. But it's all impossible, isn't it?"

Instead of answering immediately, Mark drew Jinyoung closer and embraced him tight while his face was buried in Jinyoung's neck. "If we feel the same, we'll fight against this impossible situation. I want to be with you. Only you. I'll face whatever comes our way if that means we can be together in the end."

"But as of now, I want to keep this to ourselves only. I don't want to let them know yet."

"I was thinking so, too. Maybe, we can bide our time."

They tightened their hands around each other as if everything were going to fall apart if they let go of each other.