Checkmate

Waiting Move

He is here.

Here.

Diora's words echoed in my head.

He was here.

Alright, we get the message, Lio. Repeating it isn't going to change it. 

It had been on repeat in my head since I'd left Diora. I leaned against a tree to catch my breath, willing myself to slow down. The news had given me an adrenalin burst and everything was racing, from my pulse to the thoughts and emotions coursing through me. It took me a few moments, and then I started moving again, walking this time, deliberately slowing my steps while I took it in.

Gods, he was here.

It had come out of nowhere, confronting and unexpected. 

Well, everything about this, about him, has been unexpected. You should be used to this by now.

But I was feeling the shock of this.

Because I'd fallen back into my regular life, jumped back in with relief and enthusiasm, and while I hadn't forgotten my matehood, somehow I had managed to gently and firmly ease it into the recesses of my consciousness. It had taken on a dream-like quality, a little removed from my reality, part of the background of my day.

Well, it isn't in the background now. 

Why was he here?

Did it have something to do with work? Clan diplomacy? Rogue related perhaps? Or was it something more personal?

Like coming to my Clan to see me.

Suddenly, I felt the unfamiliar flutter of anxiety in the pit of my stomach. 

Clenlevin was right smack in the middle between our Clans, you had to pass through it to get from his Clan to mine. And this specific area was on that path.

No. It can't be that. He wouldn't do that. Not when he gave you time. He's a male of his word. 

I ran a hand through my hair. 

I didn't know what to do.

Go see him and find out what the hell was going on and why the hell he was here - or turn around and head back to our encampment and forget Diora had even told me. 

Part of me was telling me to stay professional, stay with the mission at hand. I'd come here to do a job, after all, and it wasn't over yet, not until I'd gotten us home. This wasn't the time for a distraction. And I knew it would be a distraction - because he was a distraction, and then some. 

Remember what happens when you see him. Remember how it throws you off course. Remember the impact of those ocean eyes on you. 

Every. Single. Time.

Those ocean eyes.

I lost myself in them always, finding myself struggling to keep my head above water, no land in sight. And it always took me days to recover, to get myself back on steady footing.

A good metaphor for how I felt about this whole situation, really.

No, it would be best not to seek him now. More prudent, safer.

Ah, but you're not safe. You haven't been safe from the first time you met him. And let's face it - you want to see him.

And he is so, so near...

I let out a sigh and stopped walking.

It would be sensible, logical, practical to head back.

But I couldn't.