Infatuation Journal

Day 100 of Liking You

Dear You, 

I saw you again today. 

I was right behind you, but didn't say anything.

I figured you were in your own little world. 

I messaged you soon after that. 

I just wanted to tell you how well you did last night

But I knew you wouldn't reply 

And I was right, 

You didn't.

you wouldn't give me the time of day 

and now i'm almost sure there is another love in the way 

but not for me of course, no, 

that's never a problem for me 

I hope it is a misunderstanding 

But inside my heart I feel as if my worst fear is coming true;

you're somebody else's 

You weren't mine to begin with anyways

Liking you was a horrible idea from the beginning 

Because it always ends the same.

Our feelings won't match up, i'm a rebound, or you manipulate me. 

But i believed in you

I actually believed I had a chance with you. 

How stupid of me. 

The hard part is

I can't avoid you.

Ever. 

My music prevents me from that. 

But knowing that it will probably always be one-sided kills me. 

Because I believed. 

I don't know if I can give my heart out again 

Because it always ends up being empty.

I written so many songs about you

Hoping and wishing you'd feel the same way 

Knowing that you have to hear them 

But never fully understanding that every line is about you

It kills me.

Today marks 100 days of me falling for you

But it's more like 100 days of me torturing myself over you. 

I hope you're happy 

Because I'm not fine at all.