Tear In My Heart ✔️

Confusion (Bonus) (edited)

Addison's POV

Conflict brewed within me as I stared at the ceiling, the same one my Padre had stared at when he was my age.

My phone felt heavy in my hand displaying the picture of the boy who was turning my world upside down. It was a battle between my head and my heart...and another part of me. I had always known I'd liked girls and I had an amazing girlfriend and body count to prove it, though my dads didn't need to know about the last part, but then he...

He'd thrown a wrench into everything I'd ever known.

My phone vibrated in my hand and I lazy lifted my head that was heavy with a whirlwind of thoughts to see a text from my girl, Kyra. We'd been dating for almost three and a half years since eighth grade. She was beautiful and extremely caring. She was smart but fun and she gave the best hugs and knew how to run her fingers through my hair just right when we kissed. My dads adored her too. She was perfect.

So why did I find myself imagining what his hands would feel like running through my hair?

The message preview banner that flashed across the top of my screen read:

Babygirl <3: Hey babe. I miss u and wanted to check in. Love you

Instead of texting back, I found myself looking at his picture again. His name was Tyler. I'd met him in my first hour this year and instantly there was just something about him that drew me in. Maybe it was his physique or maybe the smooth way my name slid from his lips. I didn't know and I really didn't want to. I wanted to distance myself and focus on Kyra, but every time he asked to hang out or simply be my partner in class, I couldn't help but accept.

It didn't help that we were on the football team together.

As I looked at the picture he'd recently posted that showed him fresh out of the pool with water clinging to him in all the right places and a smile that would make anyone swoon, I felt a rush move through me before I started experiencing "self growth".

I lowly cursed as I quickly exited out of the picture and closed my eyes, pictures of my Nonna taking a dump in a landfill filling my head, a common yet disturbing image I usually drew on to calm myself down, and thankfully, it worked.

Once I was certain that I was safe, I opened my eyes and let out a shaky breath.

Yeah, I was definitely in trouble.

I swallowed as I grabbed my phone and opened my messages app.

Me [to Babygirl <3]: Miss u 2. Nothing's happening rn. Love you 2

I hit send before I stared at the ceiling once more as I tried to rationalize what I was feeling. It was very rare for the children of a gay couple to turn out gay as well...wait, no I wasn't gay. I was...I didn't know what I was. But what I did know was that I had a beautiful, amazing girlfriend who I loved very much...and a boy who made me question everything I thought I knew.

My thoughts were thankfully cut off by the door opening, revealing my sister, Azalea. In a non-creepy-incest way, my sister was beautiful. Her dark skin was virtually flawless and her hazel eyes were breathtaking. Her hair was thick and curly and fun to style when she let me. She was also insanely smart as well, it was crazy knowing that she was younger than me.

"Hey," she said as she walked into the room.

"Hey," I replied as I sat up. "What's up?"

"Nonna and I finally got the little Devils to sleep, which we totally could've used your help with by the way. Did you not hear them screaming?" She asked as she punched my shoulder, causing me to chuckle and rub my arm.