I kissed a Girl

Day 7

I looked out the window as I felt my heart sink and I didn't want to cry but that was the first thing I wanted to do. I wanted to cry. So many things kept popping up in my mind but I had to stay calm. I glanced at mom who looked sad. The car is so gloomy and silent. Something was spoken between adults that Mitsuki was involved and not me. I looked back and just smiled at Mitsuki.

"You will call me when you get there right?" I asked her 

Mitsuki just looks up to me and smiles widely "Of course silly... I will do my best to call you everyday" 

I noticed her parents holding their hands tightly as her mom tried not to cry. Is something wrong? I did my best not to ask and Mitsuki kept looking out the window a sad expression in her eyes. I gulped down the lump in my throat. Something bad will happen and I don't know what it is. I sat back down and the radio was raised a little bit as I just mumbled all the songs I know. I slide my hand back and I slightly rub circles in her knee I know something is wrong. But I can't pry to much into it one day they will tell me and I will be happy to welcome that burden with a giant hug. 

Is something that I can never tolerate. What is so bad that they all have to keep it a secret from me? I felt so confused but I didn't ask much. She held my hand tightly as she was shaking maybe she is nervous to travel into a new world. I had my permission to pass through the gate with them to be able to say good bye. We were a bit early so the moment we arrived mom helped them get everything out and so I stood by the door. My eyes getting glossy and I just stared at it. I was so lucky that Mitsuki basically dragged my sleepy butt to her tent. 

We slept in the same tent and the teacher woke us up this morning to be able to get ready early. I was already dreading the moment but know am standing by the door and just staring at it. Mitsuki had held my hand and she had her suitcase in hand. They had one the rest they sent it through mail to the families they have over there. So they only had to travel with one suitcase. We walked inside and each step I took was actually kind of heavy to be honest. 

Mitsuki held my hand tightly but when we passed through the gates I gave my pass so I passed first then it was her and her stuff. I was clear. All I brought was my phone. I looked at Mitsuki has she had suddenly spaced out. 

"Mitsuki!" I basically yell at her with a big smile 

She snaps out and smiles in return. I just felt so happy to see her smile. She will be like this. New world. New people. I wouldn't even mind if she forgot about me in her new world. We walked towards the gate as they were boarding already her parents quickly went there and Mitsuki had let my hand go. This airline is always so unpredictable. That is how Spirit goes. 

But the moment she let go of my hand I felt a void in my heart and so I yelled "I WON'T FORGET YOU MITSUKI!" 

I looked down as tears started streaming down and the next thing I know my face was forced up "I never got to give you a kiss" 

Her words were fast but her voice was slightly rough as well. She gave me a quick kiss. Gentle and smooth but it hurt deep down in my heart seeing her go. When she stopped kissing me I looked at her with wide eyes as she waves goodbye. She was crying like a crazy girl. So did her parents. It hurts. It hurts so bad to see them go people looked at me some with broken heart others with disgust. 

I didn't care what anybody thought I know I will miss that crazy girl. But life is just cruel. I kiss her and I really liked it. I could still feel the lingering sensation of her lips against my own. I just tried to wipe my tears away as they started closing the door. My heart was breaking and I just wanted to run in and hide and move with them. But this isn't a movie. This is real life and everything is cruel and unexpected. One moment you think everything will be ok and happy but life strikes a lightning into your heart so you can snap back into reality. 

I gave my back to it and walked towards the exit. It wasn't that far away but to be honest I was so heartbroken that I almost got lost trying to walk towards the exist. I didn't know what to do anymore. All I wanted to do was to just had in my room for days. But this won't be the first or last heartbreak. I have to learn from it and show Mitsuki I can. I will never forget that beautiful girl so I will wait for her return. 

I will wait for her and I will confess my love to her again but when that happens. I will have a job. My own home. My own pets. I will help my mom when she needs it but I know from heart that the moment I move out mom will be so happy to turn my room into her sculpting room. I was able to leave the door and mom hugged me tightly.

"Am gonna miss her mom" I say in between sobs 

"Oh I know honey but she will return... One day she will come back" Moms voice was rough as well 

We had to get in the car and mom started to drive me back to camp I have to go back. My phone ringed slightly and it was from her mom. She had sent me pictures and a we will miss you both from her. I looked at the Pictures and she was able to take a picture of us two hugging and kissing. Holding hands included. I felt my heart tare apart. I hugged my phone there were other pictures where we appeared and mom was in them as well so I know I have to show them to mom when I return home.

I kissed a girl and I liked it but reality can be so freaking cruel. I will miss that dummy. I replied with have a safe trip and that I love them all and we will all miss them deeply. My phone binged again and this time it was her. She had sent me an I love you and picture of her smiling while crying. My heart tore seeing her like that and I replied back with I love you more and will miss you babe. I knew from heart she had hugged her phone. I will never delete this message and I will wait for her. 

I will wait for my lover to return.