Guns N Roses: A Second Chance

Chapter Five: Being a Father

Izzy's P.O.V.

What the hell am I supposed to do with a baby?! I can barely care for myself, let alone another human being. Especially one as young as Izzy Jr...I know, this is all an illusion cause by my heroin and Izzy Jr isn't real. Uncertain of what to do with him I sat him down on my bed. I immediately expected him to cry like Axi did when Axl put him down but he didn't. Just stared at me with his wide, innocent brown eyes. I sighed softly and grabbed my guitar and sat down. Izzy Jr watched me play my guitar, amazed. I know he was because I saw amazement in his eyes. I smiled to myself and played more. What the hell am I going to do with him? He can't watch me play forever...can he? I wondered, still playing. Of course not. I told myself. He's a toddler I think they don't have long attention spams...sooner or later he'll be whining and begging.

But I was wrong. Izzy Jr didn't whine or move even. He just watched me play. I glanced over once to see if he had fallen asleep and saw he was wide awake. I smiled at him and he smiled back and cooed a little. He's such a quiet kid....I like that. I stopped playing and sat my guitar down. He crawled into my lap then and I picked him up.

"Hey there little guy." I said softly to him. He grinned at me and cooed happily. I smiled at him as he tried to grab my nose ring. "'ey that's not for you." I said, setting him down in my lap again. Just then Treader strutted in and I groaned softly. Treader was such an attention whore sometimes and I knew he'd get jealous of Izzy Jr. Treader stopped in his tracks and cocked his head at Izzy Jr. Please don't do anything stupid dog. I tried to tell him but I don't think it worked. He strutted over to Izzy Jr and opened his mouth.

"Treader no-" I started to shouted when I saw him lick Izzy Jr's face. Izzy Jr looked startled for a moment and I was sure he'd start crying. Instead he giggled and placed his hands on Treader's nose. For whatever reason the damn dog yelped and tried to bite my son. I got pissed off and sat Izzy Jr down on my pillow before yelling at Treader for being so fucking stupid. I was yelling at him for so long I forgot about Izzy Jr until Treader gave a sudden bark.

"Damn it Treader don't-" I started, turning around. Izzy Jr wasn't on the pillow nor on the bed. I heard a THUMP and I swear my heart stopped for a moment. "FUCK!" I shouted, jumping off the bed and nearly getting bitten by my dog. I looked on the ground to my left and saw Izzy Jr happily playing with my heroin needles. I gave a huge sigh of relief. "Thank god you're ok!" I said, gently picking him up. "That's not for you to play with little guy." I added when I realized he held a needle in his hand. I sat on the bed again and placed Izzy Jr in my lap. Then I pulled the needle away from him but I accidentally grazed his hand with it.

God did he scream! I threw the needle aside and picked him up, running into the bathroom and setting him on the toilet seat. He stopped screaming but I didn't care. Imaginary baby or not I think I should help him. Or maybe I shouldn't. Fuck I should! I grabbed a bandage and placed it on Izzy Jr's cut. He giggled for whatever reason and cooed. I smiled and picked him up. We walked out and I walked back to my room. I sat him down in Treader's dog bed since he didn't have a crib. He'd be gone when I wake up in the morning anyway. I changed into some pjs then crawled under the covers. I don't really remember doing any heroin this morning...but then again I wouldn't remember if I did. I closed my eyes and dreamed of Steven being fired. Weird.

**************

Sunlight shone through my room. I yawned and opened my eyes. I sat up, rubbing my eyes. That illusion was fun while it lasted. Poor little guy, he was almost real...

"Morning Treader." I said and froze. Treader was curled around Izzy Jr, who was sleeping peacefully. Oh fuck....what the hell am I going to do? I thought, staring hard at them.There's no way in hell I'm raising a baby!