No one is perfect,
But family always wants you to be perfect.
Never let a single thought slip you mind,
Or they will yell.
Not just yelling to tell you what you forgot out of frustration.
But yelling you are never prepared for.
It could happen anytime,
But always at home.
You could be asleep,
Or just relaxing.
And they yell.
It feels like it never ends.
Sometimes you just take it, because its not that bad,
Other times you just get mad, because they don't understand your side of a story.
But the worse effect is confusion.
You know you try your best, you may have had a bad day that day,
or it just felt out of nowhere and you don't know what to do,
So you cry.
You cry because you feel like there's nothing else you can do.
Then once they're tired of seeing you cry they tell you to stop crying.
Like that's an option.
When you are dismissed, and you into hiding.
Sitting in the corner of your bed,crying.
Then you start to break down. It starts with yelling at yourself. Self doubt, and bad thoughts possess your mind.
Then you may lash out. Not on the person who yelled at you, but yourself.
Hitting, crying, picking at your hair, cutting.
You hit, pick, and cut.
You know its bad,
Buts its the only way to let out your sadness, anger, confusion
You ask yourself why.
Why
Why
Why
They call you.
You hide the cuts.
When you face them, you keep your head up,
not wanting them to notice you picked at your hair, but you pray that no bruises form your battle with yourself.
They say that they're sorry for yelling. They're not regretting yelling, they're regretting letting you leave the way you did.
A mess.
They give you a lecture about life them send you off.
Back to your lonesome.
