Commitment | Jeon Jungkook

Astonishment

An excruciating ache pulsed within my chest. My breathing was uneven and wavering. My hands began to tremble and I decided to fold my arms against my chest; to deceive myself into thinking it'd bring a bit of stability. I looked around the restaurant, everyone radiated happiness, but none of it was rubbing off on me. I could feel it, my simple life was coming to an end. I stared down at my phone and quickly unfolded my arms to click the home screen on my phone for a split second before folding my arms again. My heart sank even more, still no call or text. 

The ringing of a bell echoed through out the restaurant and my heart. As I glanced up, he casually strolled to me. Jeon Jungkook was walking casually and calmly over to me. He showed no signs of distress, nervousness, or even guilt. I always knew everything was one-sided, but I always deceived myself into thinking everything was reciprocated. Naive. Naive of me to think that, as if I hadn't already learned from past experiences. Always giving, never receiving. 

A text message came in and I glanced down at my phone. Hobi's name appeared with the message, "Just saw Jungkook walk in, if you need me, I'm outside." 

He finally sat across from me and smiled, but I instantly noticed his smile was not reaching his eyes. He was always an open book to me. I could tell you everything about him. What he adored, what he despised, when he was confused, when he was happy. I knew him like the palm of my hand. 

"Hey," He finally spoke. 

I rolled my eyes before leaning forward and resting my chin on my palm. 

"What do you want Jungkook?" I sigh. He looks at me questioningly obviously trying to read my emotions. 

"Why are you being so cold?" He questioned. I watched as he tried to search my eyes, but I make sure to maintain a stoic and blank expression on my face. 

"Well, I'm not sure sweetheart, what's the appropriate way of responding when someone avoids you for 2 weeks?" I say resentment evident in my tone. He licks his lips before scooting forward in his seat and pushing his hair back ever so slightly. 

"That's actually why I had Hobi call you here. You deserve an explanation." Even though he was on the other side of the table I could tell he was rubbing his palms against his jeans. An obvious giving away that he was nervous. I nodded for him to continue, knowing I needed to mentally prepare myself for what's coming. 

"It's Mi So, We're actually in the process of moving in together." he smiled. He was looking at the table now, his prominent smile on full display, shattering my heart in the process. I turned my head to the left and looked out the window, staring into the distance and at nothing in particular. I wanted to get lost in an oblivion. 

"I was scared then, but now I wouldn't mind being in a relationship with you."  The words he had spoken to me almost 3 weeks ago echoed over and over again in my head. It was all deceit and never his real intentions. 

"And I know it's been rough lately because she doesn't like you and our friendship, so I've come to a decision, it's honestly really hard for me, but-" 

"Hello, my name is Lucy, I'll be your server, what can I get for you to drink?" Lucy interrupts. Her voice bubbly and happy; the complete opposite of what I'm radiating. 

Jungkook looks at her with a half smile, "Can you give us a minute." She nods before prancing off. 

"Um, what I was saying is, I had to make a hard decision, and I'm really sorry, and it's all my fault, but it'll just be easier this way," he rambles before trailing off.

I turn back over to him, finishing off his sentence "that we won't be friends anymore." 

He nods. I feel my heart shatter even more than I thought possible. I did this to myself. If I wouldn't have fallen, I would still be fine. I simply nodded before standing and speed walking out of the restaurant and into Hobi's open arms as uncontrollable sobs escaped me. He caressed my head as he ushered me to the car and we drove off.