"Seperate me from my own two hands. I've killed so many times but I can't save the world from the creatures that won't die."
I stared at myself in the small, no break mirror in my bathroom. My wide blue eyes seemed dull and lifeless while my wavy blonde hair that made it's way down my narrow shoulder and small back seemed like it hadn't been brushed in days. My small nose was pale and my plump lips were chapped. The ideal looks my grandmother used to tell me seemed to be worthless to me. You can't be pretty when your looks are melting off your body while you lay in your grave six feet down. I turned and went back into my bedroom that was attached to the bathroom before my thoughts could get too out of control. I went to my 'suicide proof' closet, grabbed a pair of light blue boyfriend jeans, a black shirt with a floral pocket on the right breast then slipped on the socks the hospital gave me and headed out to the nurses station to get in line for my morning medicine. The small line went quickly and my nurse for the day smiled and handed me a small cup with my pills in it and another identical small cup of water.
"How are you, Cali?" Matt asked with a hopeful smile that dimmed a little when I just nodded instead of talking. I opened my mouth and moved my tongue around so Matt could check to make sure I took my pills. Once I got a nod of approval I walked to the next line to go down to the dinning area. As usual I heard Tally talking about her gossip. Tally was tall with a bad boob job and an even worse nose job, from what I have heard she was here for a sex addiction but really who knows.
"Yeah. He is really hot. He came in late last night. I guess he tried to kill someone. It's kinda hot. He has a lot of tattoos. Up and down both of his arms, he also has a lip ring." I heard Tally's squeaky voice keep going but I chose to tune it out. Another person come in at least one a week so it probably wasn't anything great, just another reason to gossip. I watched Matt come out of the nurses station and lock the door and go to check the rooms to make sure every one was in line to come and get in line for breakfast.
Since we had some people with eating disorders we had to make sure everyone ate and no on got away with not eating so we all ate at the same time. I saw Matt come out of the room right next to mine with a tall, skinny boy with curly hair and like Tally said, lip ring and tattoos. He had defined features and was very attractive. We made eye contact before I turned away and minded my own business. Soon after the line started moving down to the dinning commons, we stayed in a line all the way and soon picked up trays to put the food we wanted on it. I got my usual. Strawberry yogurt and a small cup of raspberries. Once we got our food we could sit wherever we wanted. I always sat at a small table that could only seat four people at the most. I slowly pushed my plastic spoon into my yogurt and took small bites as I watched the ocean splash on the sand. I loved the dinning commons because the walls were made of glass so it was as close as possible to getting outside.
"Hello, Cali!" Asher chirped as he sat down next to me with his all organic foods. Asher sat with my everyday. I never talked to him but he did a good job of filling the silence. For some reason he took a liking to my company but I didn't complain, it was nice to have some human contact. Asher always talked about his beloved boyfriend who was waiting at home for him. Asher developed a cocaine addiction and ended up overdosing on accident, that's why he was here and he seemed to be doing a lot better after his detoxing stage of recovery. I nodded my head at Asher as my long hair fell in my face and tucked it back behind my ear before it could get in my yogurt.
Asher soon sprung off into a one sided conversation about how he was planning on redecorating his house when he got home, how it was so boring and need more spice. I nodded along when needed and nibbled at my yogurt but soon lost my already small appetite when a familiar looking brown hair and greens eye started making his way towards our table.
"Is this seat taken?"
