The Places Where We Are Together But Separate

            Martha laughed a jubilant laugh, as Freddy wrapped his arms around her waist. The sand was warm and soft between the toes of her bare feet. It was still a bit chilly out, being that it was April, but the tendrils of light coming down from the sun had warmed the lovely sand of the Jersey Shore. This place she loved so much where freedom and wonder and splendor and the beauty of nature in all its glory and everything else good seemed to come together to make this perfect piece of Heaven on earth. It was simply magical here. Gorgeous waves beat on the shore where it was all separate but together. The way she was together here with Freddy, Angela, Maxime, and Carson, but her thoughts drifted to sweet Jimmy Cross, what felt like a million miles away, in Vietnam. She often wondered about what it was really like there. Jimmy had often said, "Some things are too horrible to describe", but were they really?

          She let herself slip into the thought of Jimmy's face the day he left. They had stood on his porch that day with the sun reflected on his tan face, long blond hair that would soon be cut, strong cheekbones, his overly large ears Martha had often poked fun at, kind blue eyes, pursed lips, tall frame, shaking hands, and the pain of goodbye painted all over every inch of him. He'd never been one to cry, but that day he had had no shortage of tears. His strong featured morphed into a pain that can only be described as the physicalization of heartbreak is something she'll never forget. She often thought about how she'd feel if he died. He sometimes talked about men who had passed in his letters. To her, in her youth and sheltered life, death felt distant. The young often feel immortal until the reality of age sets in, but to Jimmy death felt so close. Being in Vietnam was like having both your feet in the grave, and your head just barely above the filled in graves dirt. Martha couldn't even begin to understand this. None of the college kids on the beach that day could. Freddy was rich and already admitted to grad school next fall, so he was unlikely to get drafted. Carson, though not incredibly open, was known to be gay. The military wouldn't want Carson even if he wanted them. Jimmy hadn't been so lucky, though. He graduated, then bam. Drafted. Gone.

                 He'd wanted to marry Martha. She may not have felt the same then, but it's was hard for her now to know how she felt. Jimmy just felt so far away. He told her he loved her the day he left. She had said it back, but to her it was more in a brotherly way. It's hard to tell someone you don't love them right before they get shipped off to Hell, it was certainly too hard for Martha to do.

             Freddy brought Martha out of her thoughts with a loving kiss on her cheek. Sometimes she felt guilty about being with Freddy and not telling Jimmy about him, but with the way he wrote to her she didn't think it was a blow he could take. Freddy knew about Jimmy, but he kept his mouth shut on the matter. Martha really appreciated that he did.

            Freddy and Martha walked down by the water. It was high tide, and far too cold to swim in, but pretty to look at. Freddy picked up some rocks and began to skip them. He kept looking over at Martha to see if she was watching his superior rock skipping skills, but she had gotten distracted by a small pebble caught in a crevice. The rock kept getting hit by the tide and pulled out slightly, but the waves were never quite strong enough to take it out all the way and into the ever going waves. It was like it wasn't quite part of the shore, but it didn't belong with the ocean either. Martha reached down and picked it up. She turned it over and over in her hands. Smooth to the touch, except one rough edge, and egg-shaped. The rock was a milky white color with orange and violet flecks. Beautiful, and for some reason it made her think of Jimmy.

           "What's that?" Freddy asked, reaching for it. "Do you want me to throw it? I think it's a good size for skipping."

         "No." Martha recoiled from Freddy's grab for the rock. "It's for Jimmy."

         "You're going to send him a rock? Seems like a waste of postage to me." Freddy said, his smile dropping at the mention of Jimmy's name.

          "Yes." Was all Martha said back.

          Freddy got quiet. "I'm going to go back with the others now; they probably miss us. Okay." He said the okay like a question, but it was a statement none the less. Freddy walked off leaving Martha standing by the edge the water turning the little rock over and over in her hands.

         "Oh Jimmy, will I ever see you again?" She asked to thin air. Then she slipped the rock into her pocket and ran back to her friends like nothing had happened. And she went on with her day in a state of pretending that Vietnam didn't exist and Jimmy right along with it.