Our Pride

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March 30

Katie gave it to us today when she met with us. She said we could vent, so here goes: I don't like that I have to call you Luke when we're not writing. Your name is Lucy. You are Lucy, the same way that I'm Ella. You're cub and I'm lion, and we'll be here together. Also, maybe we can use the notebook to communicate because Uncle Charlie doesn't like it when we talk about certain subjects, so we can talk freely here.
That sounds good. I'm glad I can be Lucy here. I can't be Lucy no place else.
Cub, do you know what a group of lions is called in the wild?
No, what?
A Pride. That's what we are. A mama lion and her cub, together. We're a Pride.


April 4

I hate him. I hate him and his stupid personality and dumber brain. He is honestly the worst person I've ever met. Ever! He hurt you because you were singing. You were singing! And he just kicked you! Said you were being too 'girly'. Stupid. And then he grabbed you by the neck and told me that if I told anyone about what he did, he'd hurt you again. Maybe even kill you. That stupid MAN. I HATE HIM! He knows I don't care about what happens to me, so now he's using you. That's unacceptable. I'm going to make that stop, Lucy, I promise you that.
Its not so bad. I'm only limping a little and they won't see it at school tomorow. I just need to walk it off.
He was wearing boots when he kicked you, cub. And he kicked you really hard.
Well it isn't bleeding.
Kicks don't bleed. You're bruised black and blue. I'm going to fight for you. For our Pride. Lions have claws, and lions roar.
Cubs have claws too!
This particular cub is too small to fight Uncle Charlie. And this lion won't let you.


April 17

I love you. I hope you know that. I love you, cub. I love you so much. I haven't said it enough. You're just the best sister any girl could ask for. You know that, right?
I love you too but why are you saying this just today? Is something wrong?
I don't know if you remember. You were really little. But six years ago today, Mom died. That's when all of this started. Lucy, if you remembered her, you'd know Mom was the best in the world. She loved us so, so much. More than Dad. Way more than Uncle Charlie. I can hardly believe him and Mom are both human. They're so different from each other.
You're the best, lion. I love you. And Mom is looking down from heaven today. I can feel it. And she's saying, Ella, you are my daughter and I love you. And she's saying that you're the best daughter ever. And you know what else? She's saying she's part of our Pride, up in heaven.
She says it to you, too. She says, Lucy, you are my daughter and I love you. And she says, Lucy, I'm so proud of you.
She's proud of you too Ella.
Thank you. That means so much to me. Especially today.


April 30

Sorry we haven't done this in awhile.
Well he's keeping you busy. I don't know why he's making you do all those chores and not me. You have more homework.
He's stupid. He just wants me give up all my control to him. He wants to make me stop fighting, but he's stupid, cub. I'm never going to stop fighting for you.
He hasn't tried to hit us in a while tho. Maybe he's getting nicer.
I doubt it. I hope so, but I doubt it.
Well at least we won't have to lie to Katie this time.
I guess so.


May 12

School ends soon.
Yeah, but who cares? We never get to do fun stuff in summer.
Lion, I have a question.
Yeah?
You know how I'm Lucy in here?
Yeah.
Could I be Lucy out there?
I don't know. It is your choice, but you know how Uncle Charlie is. He's a stupid idiot.
Maybe he'll suprise us.
Maybe. But I don't want you getting hurt, cub.
I really hate being Luke, lion. I hate pertending and lying to evryone abowt who I am. I'm not Luke. I'm not a boy. I'm Lucy. I want to grow my hair long and wear dresses and maybe one day you could do my hair like you do yours.
Of course. My hair's easy to do up. I could do it for you. And cub, that sounds amazing. I can't stop you if you want to do this. But I really really think you shouldn't. We don't know how it could go, cub, and he could hurt you really badly. Then I'd never forgive myself. I'm supposed to protect you, see? Protect our Pride.
I know, but, lion, I want to be myself. And if Uncle Charlie hurts me, well, he's the one to be angry at, right? Not you. Your trying to help. He'll just do what he does, right?
I know, sweet girl. I know. But I don't want you to get hurt. And I feel responsible for you. I'm the older sister. I'm supposed to protect you. Lion's roar, right? cub, I'm behind you whatever you do, but I don't want you to get hurt.
Okay, lion. I'll wait till you say I can do it.
You're a good girl, cub.


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