Model Citizens

Chapter 3

"Holy shit, Ivan!" I cried out. "The fuck you do that for?" I was bent over double with pain shooting in every direction throughout my body. Being a teen boy has its major benefits in the sex department, but this over-sensitivity isn't one of them. I was literally seeing spots before my eyes.

Ultimately, overcome with the throbbing, I fell sideways onto the bed, crouched in that fetal position every young man experiences once or twice before learning better caution.

"Coulda woulda shoulda worn protection, man," snickered Ivan. Though clearly pleased by the success of his prank, he now sat on the edge of the bed right where I'd been so comfortable just a moment ago.

After a bit he realized things weren't returning to normal any time soon. He put his hand on my shoulder, "Is it really that bad?" he asked.

"Fuck no. I'm enjoying this. Why don't you let me show you what it's like?"

"No. You can show me something else some other time, but it doesn't need to be that," he answered. His fingers were starting to move very slightly along the sleeve of my polo knit. It felt weird for him to do that. "Hey," he said, "I know a great way to stop the pain, but you may not like it. It's kinda weird. It doesn't matter to me, but since you're the one who got clobbered, and all, at least I can tell you about it. Then you can decide. But it'd be fine with me."

"What is it? Blue ice down my Jockeys? That'd be good for a laugh. Or maybe you could let me knock you up side the head with my baseball bat? That might be good payback, but I don't think it'll help me forget about my damaged goods."

"No," he said, "It's just something that I learned from a friend I used to have at my old school." He glanced over at the door just for a moment, then back at me. "Hold on a sec," he said, getting up off the bed.

As soon as his hand left my shoulder, it felt a little colder as the draft found its way to me again, breaching the gap between my shirt and my jeans. I realized how warm his hands must be, and since he wasn't sitting behind me, that was getting colder, too. I wished he'd come back.

After locking his bedroom door, Ivan opened his closet, rustling around until he removed a rolled-up towel. Then, he closed the drapes, shutting out the cold Kentucky twilight. He flicked on his desk lamp, and returned to the door to switch off the overhead light.

"What're you doing all this for," I asked. My heart was still pounding faster than normal, but now it wasn't so much due to the hernia he'd just about given me as it was to my expectation of something far more unusual and entertaining.

"Well, one time I got racked but good by this kid I used to know. Hurt like a mutherfucker and all that. He told me that if I would just jerk off, then the pain would all stop. Just like that."

He snapped his fingers to emphasize the magic in his solution, and sat looking at me. "I told you that it's kind of weird. And you probably don't even like to jerk off."

"Hey, some days I wax my carrot non-stop for four or five hours. I just usually don't do it in front of a ball-bashing homo boy who's slobbering to see my wood."

"Screw you, fat boy! I heard your last girlfriend had to stand over you with her mother's magnifying glass before she found your family heirloom."

"Fuck you, too, pencil neck! How dare you insinuate that I fucked a girl smart enough to use a magnifying glass!"

"I didn't say she was smart. She was actually holding the magnifying glass up to her face because her last boyfriend said that he loved her big brown eyes."

"No, he said he loved a big brown eye. Her eyes were blue."

That got us both howling, and then another wave of pain and nausea swept through me, clawing from my groin outward.