Lilith

Blame

Some time had gone by since the battle. Lilith was buried on a hill by a huge tree that we use to hang out beside every night. Nobody was the same after her passing. We tried everything to bring her back before the funeral but we had no luck. Isaac hasn't shown up or talked to me since the battle. We didn't see him saying his final goodbye either. I could barely move that day, I couldn't stand to go see her like that one last time, let alone see her be placed in her final resting place.. I became distant again. I didn't talk. didn't go to events. I didn't do anything but stay in our room. Because I use to do everything with her. Days became lonely, nights became colder. I couldn't help but have the memory of waking up and leaving her behind. If only I stayed.. She would've still been beside me, maybe Ultimecia was right, I failed to kill her, and she found me and killed the girl I loved.. Without Lilith days were hard, memories became sad ones, the smell of her perfume was the last thing I could physically remember, because it was her favorite to use. It smelled like a sweet candy rose, and any time I smelled anything similar it reminded me of her.. The scent I once tried to remove off my clothes cause I hated smelling like that became something I'd spray on her pillow at night so I didn't feel alone. Waking up everyday seeing she wasn't next to me killed me, because I had small hope I'd see her, I had doubt in my mind every day. To others she was another girl but to me she was my everything everyday. She was a legend to me, a gift, a new hope, someone who changed me for the best. Grief isn't something so easy to overcome, in fact, you'll never move on from it or be the same. It's one thing to say goodbye to someone and see them the next day, but it's another when you say goodbye to them for the rest of eternity. You don't forget that, you just learn to deal with that thought, and struggle to keep memories alive. Some people do memorials or set up the things they once loved on a table or alter. Some believe in guiding them back home for the day to see their families once more, even if the families can't see them. And some, some just sit in their rooms and pray and talk to them or visit the graves to talk. I never understood any of this until I lost her... But I felt like she was mad at me for not saving her..

Isaacs POV

It's been a whole month since Lilith had died. I didn't know what happened, all I know is that I killed her.. I killed my best Friend. Squall became distant towards me, all I remember is him carrying her off without a word.. I just wish I could remember what happened. I felt lost and broken, like it was my fault.. After a while I received an invite to a festival in the Magic crafter's realm that was sent by Axea. It was to honor the dead, and I'm assuming they were going to honor Lilith. I debated on going, but I already missed so much, why would I miss this..? I got over my fears and regrets and decided I was going. I gathered some of my things and teleported to their realm

Squalls POV

"you're inviting him?" I asked Axea as she was gathering things for an alter for Lilith. "yes, he's her best friend Squall, You know this isn't his fault he was hypnotized for Christ's sake." she replied as I crossed my arms. "I know that. But he left all of u-" I was interrupted. "he didn't leave any of us behind. He thinks he killed her, he doesn't know what happened" she said as I rolled my eyes. "he held me back when I could've saved her in time." she pinned me against the wall glaring. "and who controlled him? It was the sorceress. Stop putting yourself in this mindset Squall." she let me off the wall as I crossed my arms. "whatever." I went back upstairs as the doorbell rang. Axea opened the door to find Isaac standing there. "hey Isaac!" she said as she hugged him and invited him in. "h-hey Axea, I brought some old friendship bracelets me and Lilith use to make for each other." he held them out to her as she smiled and took them. "they're beautiful. I'll make sure to put them on the alter." I heard their conversation as I walked into me and Lilith's room. I sighed and took my jacket off tossing it on the bed. I looked out the window and saw people getting lights and decorations up throughout the streets. The way they honored their loved ones was so beautiful to me, they'd decorate the streets with fairy lights and candles, serve food in the neighborhood streets as everyone would dance. They'd have the alters of loved ones surrounded with flowers, candles and things they owned along with pictures. Sometimes they'd light fires and play live music. Axea was putting Lilith's photos and things on an alter, she wanted it decorated the way Lilith would have loved it to be. It honestly killed me at the thought of doing all of this, so I left it up to Axea. I heard her and Isaac talking for a while downstairs but I couldn't hear as it was muffled. I didn't really care anyways. After some time Isaac came up and knocked on the door to our bedroom, I thought it was Axea so I opened the door. "hey Squall.." he said as I stood there at the door "what is it." I replied. "can I talk to you?" he said as I shrugged and let him in. "look, I want to know what happened back during that fight.." he said as I looked at him. "thought you already knew this story." I said as I looked away. He sighed and shook his head "no I don't, Squall." I looked at him and glared "why did you abandon us. I haven't seen you for a fucking month Isaac. You never contacted us you never showed up to Lilith's funeral, part of me feels like Ultimecia still has control over you." I snapped as I walked back towards the window. "control over me..? What do you mean?" Isaac replied confused. "don't you remember, she took over you and had you be her minion or some shit." I said slightly frustrated. "wait, what? So why do you hate me then Squall, what did I ever do to you" "you blocked me from saving her Isaac you-" he cut me off. "but that wasn't even me!! You acted like I killed her, this entire month I've blamed myself for her death because of that!" he yelled. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. "part of it was your fault whether you knew it or not." I shoved him out of the room and slammed the door. Isaac sighed and walked away from the door. I sat on the bed staring at the floor thinking to myself. Isaac became my friend, why am I attacking him? It's not Like it IS his fault.. But my mind kept telling me it was. In reality, I wanted to blame everything and everyone but myself. What Ultimecia said to me stuck to me, I've been tempted to leave and go back to my homeland because part of me was concerned she was alive and would come back.. I hated thinking like this, my mind just went deeper in time, if I never met Axea and got help from her to get the ship back to my realm, Lilith would've been fine. Ultimecia knew where we were all along, and just waited to strike. If I just managed to kill her before, an innocent life wouldn't have been taken.. But I also wouldn't have been able to meet her.. Or found out what love really is..