Fate Withstands

Chapter 29

"I'm going to honor my promise. I'll take you to Epirus. I'll help you close the Doors of Death. Then that's it, I'm leaving-forever."

Nico wanted to go back to the Jackson apartment, bury himself in blankets and eat Sally's cooking and have no worries but training. But the apartment was part of his past and only that. He couldn't see himself ever visiting it again.

Because of Percy Jackson. He had been telling himself that he was like his brother for months, but there was still a small crush that stabbed at his heart every time he saw the son of Poseidon. He couldn't share a room with that, not after he ran away from Will Solace and his feelings.

Camp Half-Blood was the same. Nico couldn't even think about looking Will in the eyes again, couldn't think about having to avoid him every day from then on out. And if he ended up in the Infirmary, was forced to talk to the son of Apollo he probably crushed...

No, he wouldn't go back there. He was going to run like he always had.

But to where?

The Underworld wasn't too appealing anymore, no matter how much he missed Persephone and his father. It was warm, the land of the dead would always be warm and inviting, it wanted to take him back. But it was too close to Tartarus, and he wasn't sure if he wanted to be warm anymore. Not after the fires of the Phlegethon, the pain and the burning and oh damn how much it burned.

He wanted the cold. He wanted the freezing icy feeling and its cold sense of reality. He wanted something to tell him he wasn't down there anymore.

You will never escape me, young demigod.

The voice of Tartarus was no stranger anymore. Usually Nico could ignore it, could keep his mind busy on something else. Leo Valdez was always working on something and allowed the son of Hades to help. But sometimes, when it was dark and he was alone, Tartarus spoke some more. Even worse, during the busy times when he should have ignored it perfectly, Tartarus rattled him to his bones and froze him in place.

No demigod escaped Tartarus alive.

Nico's brain seemed to chant this fact as they continued on with their quest. He could get to Leo, who had been thrown off the Argo. And they did. He could get them to Epirus, which he soon did. He could get them to the Doors of Death, could do what he had promised. But after that? He couldn't do anything.

He couldn't go anywhere, he didn't have a home. He couldn't escape Tartarus, couldn't get over his PTSD. He couldn't even let himself relax from a constant defensive position.

There was nothing to be done but fight. He always had something to fight.

He led the way into the House of Hades. He did what he needed to fulfill his promise so it didn't bear down on him any longer.

"From here, it gets tough." He turned to face them, tried to make sure they'd survive it. He couldn't lose anyone else.

"Sweet," Leo said. "Cause so far I've totally been pulling my punches."

Nico punched his shoulder for what felt like the fifth time since they started their journey. "Remember, this is where pilgrims came to commune with dead ancestors. Underground, you may see things that are hard to look at, or hear voices trying to lead you astray in the tunnels. Frank, do you have the barley cakes?"

"I've got the cakes," Hazel said. She pulled them out and passed them around, all of them eating what they needed. Unlike everyone else, Nico didn't complain about the taste. Anything was better than drinking fire.

"Okay," Nico said. "That should protect us from the poison."

"Poison?" Leo asked. "Did I miss the poison? Cause I love poison."