Amateur To Published: The Fiction Writer's Guide To Publishing

10 - Showing VS Telling

Writing teachers always talk about 'show don't tell' as the ideal for good writingbut what does that mean exactly? There's a time for showing an a time fortelling. Here's what it means;

STEP 1: TEASE THE SENSES

What makes a scene particularly vivid? It's the ability of the storyteller to evoke all of the reader's senses so that the scene seems almost movie-like. The more the reader can 'see, smell, touch, taste and hear' everything that is going on in the story, the more they will enjoy the story. This kind of writing is called descriptive writing;

Descriptive writing is all about being more specific in your writing so that you can create life-like word pictures. It's about showing what your character is seeing, tasting, how something feels to the touch, what they hear and what they smell. It is also about the ability to choose powerful words. Why say 'walk' when 'striding' is much powerful? Instead of 'her angry expression', why not try 'her stormy expression'.

Unfortunately descriptive writing isn't a skill that you can learn in one day. You need to practice it constantly and the more you use it, the better you become at it. There are a few ways you can teach yourself how to write descriptively. Classes like Virginia Hamilton's workshop on scholastic.com can start you out while reading classic writers like Tolkien, Lawrence, Dickens and Jane Austen will teach you how to make places and people come alive.

STEP 2: TIE SETTING & CHARACTER DESCRIPTIONS WITH ACTIONS

Sometimes, it's okay to just describe a place or a character as they are. You could simply say someone is tall, the room is large etc. However, if you want to make your story even more interesting and vivid, consider tying those description to an action.

Example, instead of telling us that there is a Persian rug on the marble floor, you'll show us the lead walking over that same Persian rug, its soft threads muffling his footsteps. Don't tell us of the ornate balustrade lining the staircase; tell us of a character running her fingers over the ornate balustrade while ascending those stairs. Don't tell us that there are high cupboard in the kitchen, show us your character getting on tiptoe or climbing a ladder to get to that cupboard.

The same goes with your character descriptions. Don't tell us your character is very tall; show us him bending just to get into the room. Don't tell us of a blonde woman; tell us of her flicking one blonde strand of her hair away from her face as she speaks. Don't tell us the character is obese; show him sweating and his thighs jiggling as he walks or struggling to fit himself into the normal sized airplane seats.

STEP 3: BREAK NARRATION WITH DIALOGUE

Dialogue is actually a tool for showing not telling. For one it grounds your action in the now. Your readers can practically hear your characters; they are getting first hand information from the character and you, the broker of the information, have practically disappeared into the background. The more dialogue you have in your book, the more immediate your story will feel.

Instead of telling us what characters did and then said to each other, show us the actual event. Don't tell us that yesterday Kate and Mark argued. Show us Kate and Mark arguing and the awful things they said to each other. The argument will thus be more alive in your readers mind and their interest in what happens next will be peaked. In the next chapter we'll talk of how to write effective dialogue.

STEP 4: SLASH UNNECESSARY DESCRIPTION OF SETTINGS & CHARACTERS

Look at your descriptions; are you describing the same things over and over? If you have already told us that your character has green eyes, you really don't need to remind us in every single chapter. We know that your character has a banging body courtesy of the male Leads appreciative eyes, do you really need to keep drumming it in. One or two reminders are usually enough (with once being preferred) for your readers to get the picture, after that let your readers do the work.

STEP 5: WEAVE BACK-STORY IN JUDICIOUSLY

Back-story as we've discussed before isnarrative that hints at important characters' pasts. Some writers present itwith a long winded passage in the very first chapter or the second chapter oftheir book. Don't do that!

Introduce us to your characters' pasts bit by bit and in an interesting way. For instance you don't need to tell us on Page 1 that that your character was an orphan who wasabandoned in foster homes by the irresponsible mother. If you show yourcharacter being cruel to their mother without any real reason then reveal muchlater that it's because of the foster-care thing, you've engaged your readerscuriosity so that when you do reveal your characters past they'll be moreinterested in it.

Spread the character's past out over several chapters instead of just giving it to us in one go.

STEP 6: REVEAL YOUR CHARACTER'S THOUGHTS SEAMLESSLY

The readers don't just need to know what your characters are doing, they need to know what your characters think about what they are doing or what is happening to them. Your character's thoughts show the readers how they are growing in the course of the story.

For instance in the first few chapters the character may dislike their workmate even though they never express it in dialogue but by the tenth chapter they like this workmate because now they understand what makes them tick. The conversation between your character and this workmate may never change but the reader will know that your character's attitude has changed.

There are two ways to tell us what your character is thinking. You can write what the character is thinking indirectly or as a pseudo dialogue. For instance;

Cassie wondered if she could get away with plagiarizing Tim's article. – Indirect thought.

Can I get away with it? Cassie stared at the article she held. It was clearly marked Tim but switching names wouldn't be hard. – Pseudo dialogue

The second way of thinking is more immediate but the first one is acceptable too. As you'll notice indirect thought is punctuated just as part of the narrative while Pseudo dialogue is punctuated using italics. This way your readers are unlikely to confuse it with dialogue.

Justa note, if a character will be thinking of a situation after it has happenedand processing his/her reaction then don't just sit them in a room to mull overtheir problem. Give them a sounding board character – put them in a room withsomeone else who they can talk to and explain what they are feeling.

STEP 7: KNOWING WHEN TO TELL

Not every scene should be shown with description and dialogue. Sometimes you need narrative summary where things aren't happening in real summary. The main events of your story should take place in scenes rather than summary. You may need to convert some scenes into summary if they are not that important.