"Ang Ating Kwento"

Atheistfeels001

I saw someone nearly died earlier. His car lost its brake sending him meters away from the right road. I flinched as I saw his bloody face and bruised body. People flocked to his side to quickly apply first aid on him.

But then I just stood there, watching everything that was happening with shaking hands and knees coupled with teary eyes. The only thing that I can do that time was to plead his life to God. I have no close relationship with that man, but seeing his life balancing on a thin line, I want to save him that much.

And that saving that I'm saying was not applying bandages or quickly casting healing magic on him.  It was something more than that. It is, to introduce the man to Christ.

It was an unexplainable feeling yet frustrating as well. I was frustrated in a way that I don't know any means on how to help his frail body, then in what any way can I even share Jesus in him? If there is even a chance that I can do that, I felt like I don't even have the ability to do it.

Therefore I'm always asking God, and even shouting to Him in my head. Why He let the man struggle and go through that lot of pain? Why did he left him suffer! And if He would tell me that it was the enemy's doing then I will push another question saying that, If you are the most powerful, why do you even let the enemy do that? Why do you let me feel hopeless thinking that I have the capacity to do everything but the truth is I can't? Why do you even let me knew you at the first place if you can't even manifest in me. Why do you want me to still believe if it will hurt too much? Why I am still believing even you are so quiet? Why God! Why...

Honestly, it doesn't make any sense. He, doesn't make sense. His purpose in everything that is happening around the universe doesn't make any sense. And I want to give up because of that!

....

But.

There are times that we don't need to see something for us to be able to understand.

And I only need to believe.

And everything will follow afterwards.